Building A Bond Between Friends That’s Solid As A Rock

Humans were never meant to live a solitary life.  The need for companionship is as fundamental as food and water.  Without friends, we would feel lonely, rejected, and left out.  Even the best marriages are based on friendship first.  But we also need friends outside the marriage to fulfill all of our human social needs and help us get through trying and difficult situations. 

Building a strong bond with rock-solid friendships takes loyalty, trust, and honesty.  True and lasting friendship simply  can’t happen overnight.

Most people have rock-solid friendships with only a couple of people or a handful at the most throughout their life.  The truth is a friendship is about quality, not quantity. Yes, you can have several friends, but most are merely casual friendships and don’t have that deep inner connection.

A good example of this is Jesus. He had 12 disciples, but only three were considered as his closest companions, Peter, James, and John. Jesus had companionship with all 12, but only three were truly close to him, like a best friend.

The Friendly Sacrifice

Being a true friend also requires sacrifice. In a rock-solid friendship, we may be asked to give up our desires for our friend’s needs. Our friend may need us when it’s not so convenient for us, like in the middle of the night. In a rock-solid friendship, this would involve sacrificing the comfort of a good night’s sleep in a nice, warm bed in order to be there for our friend. But that’s what friends do!

Give and Take

In a strong and reliable  friendship, there is both give and take. There are reciprocated feelings between both people  and it’s never one-sided. That doesn’t mean that there won’t be conflicts because we’re human, after all. However, when there is a conflict between two very close friends, the struggles usually don’t last long because there is forgiveness, understanding, and communication.

• Forgiveness means that you let go of any malice or grudges and you move forward at peace with one another.
• Understanding comes from knowing your friend inside and out – knowing where they’re coming from and knowing what they’re going through.
• Communication means that you connect with your friend with an overall understanding of his or her relating style.

When a friendship is truly rock-solid, both people are real with each other; there are no facades, no masks and no secrets. There is trust, honesty, sincerity and loyalty, however, and this comes only as a friendship grows.

How to Connect With a New Friend

You may have stumbled upon someone new by chance or through friends and if there is enough common interest, you may decide to meet again. Sounds pretty obvious, right?

With each encounter you have, your relationship grows and strengthens. Then as you continue to get to know one another, the communication gets easier and you become more comfortable with each other. The key here is that it can’t happen overnight. If you try to force it, you may make the other person feel uncomfortable and threatened, so go at a smooth and steady pace.

Showing True Colors

As the friendship continues to blossom, casual friends build trust and loyalty through both the peaks and valleys of life. However, it’s in the difficult times that a person’s true colors are revealed. When you’re going through a tragedy, a personal crisis, or simply a rough patch, it is the rock-solid friends that are there to help lift you back up.

Friends Help Friends Grow

True friends help each other grow mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. A true friendship requires both unconditional love as well as tough love.

Building a rock-solid friendship takes time to achieve, but once you’re in a rock-solid friendship with someone, you will know who you can trust. Neither distance, nor hard times can spoil a truly rock-solid friendship.

Dare To Overcome Challenges

Everybody has challenges, like it or not it’ a normal part of life. A lot of people look at disputes and detest them, but disputes help move us forward.  You and the entire world would stand still without challenges.  You  would never improve Yourself, and would always be the same people you are right now. Besides think of how boring the world would be without disputes.  How could anyone ever learn. 

This knowledge may make disputes somewhat easier to deal with and may even enable you to defeat challenges or obstacles that are standing in your way. So ask yourself: Am I where I want to be in life? If you’re not happy, then it’s time to take charge.

Defeating Challenges

Defeating some challenges can be as simple as remembering that nothing lasts forever.  Even though this may sound rather simple, it is true. When you are in the midst of a tough situation, you should pause for a moment and remember that this too shall pass.  We often get caught up in the drama and the stress of a challenge or obstacle. This blinds us to the reality that this moment is simply a stepping stone to where we are going.

Another way to defeat challenges is to seek help. We often become islands unto ourselves when we needn’t be. Ask friends and family for help, or get professional help if the challenge demands it. Getting help from people that support you can make the challenge seem smaller and less threatening.

Breaking challenges down into more manageable component may make them easier to defeat. Many of us look only at the big picture, which can be overwhelming.  Examine the challenges you’re facing and see if you can’t break up the issues into smaller pieces to make the process less intimidating.

Positive thought is a great way to overcome challenges. Many people keep a list of affirmations with them – either physically or in their minds – to help them overcome difficulties as challenges arise. Affirmations are simple statements to help you quiet negative thoughts that are in your mind.  Many people find that positive thoughts are the key to overcoming both big and small challenges.

You can take positive thoughts one step further and incorporate affirmations into your everyday life. These affirmations may include, “If I can say it, I can do it, and I can be it.”  Getting up each day and saying these thoughts out loud reaffirms the positive thought and allows you to live it.  Many people repeat the thought each day at the same time, while others use them only in those moments when challenges present themselves and become overwhelming.

Overcoming challenges is difficult, but this is a vital part of learning more about yourself, who you are striving to be, and what your place is in this world.  In many situations, you can employ just one of these methods to overcome the challenges in your life, and in other situations you may need to use a combination. Each person finds different methods of dealing with challenges to work for them, but the power of positive thought cannot be overlooked. This power will enable you to see the good in each challenge or obstacle that you encounter throughout your life.

Just For Today Don’t Allow Stressful Thinking To Affect You

You  encounter stress from day-after-day, but how you deal with stress determines whether it moves you forward or holds you back. Stressful thinking is frenzied, inaccurate, and unreliable, even so a lot of  you go through life thinking and behaving in stressful ways. Many of you assume that this is the way life has to be, and there is no getting around it, but this is certainly not the case! 

Silencing negative thinking may be easier than you ever imagined it could be, but it begins with a positive thought.

Negative Thinking, Positive Aspirations, and You

Negative thinking not only controls the way you approach life, but it also can affect your body, mind, and relationships. When you substitute negative thoughts with positive ones, you have the ability to move ahead in a healthier and more productive way.  With adequate time and effort, you’ll be able to alter your thought process, and it all begins with just a few words.

The Power of A Few Words…

When you see a list of affirmations, you see nothing more than a list of words with idealistic phrases that do not seem to apply to your thinking. If you look closer at each affirmation, you may find that many of them summarize the way you would like to think.

When you see a positive phrase that speaks to you, hold  onto it and use it to wipe out the negative thought you want to eliminate. Basically, you’ll be replacing your negative thinking pattern with a positive approach. This is what positive affirmations are all about!

Affirmations are positive statements that stimulate your mind to achieve all of the great things you would like. Words have the ability to move mountains because they can evoke emotions within you.  If you use an affirmation that speaks to you on a deep level -“ and you reaffirm it by repeating it often“ you can make the statement your mantra and your reality.

If you are overcome by negative thinking to the point where you believe no affirmation can work for you, don’t lose hope! There are many affirmations that can help you deal with just that!  Using an affirmation such as, “Negative thinking is not my way of thinking” will give you the ability to alter your thought process and your life. It may feel awkward at first, but as you reaffirm the positive emotions you desire, your negative thinking will be replaced with positive thoughts.

There are a lot of different affirmations to help you with negative thinking.  Something as simple as, “Negative thoughts cannot enter my mind” will allow you a moment to replace anger and frustration with a positive thought.

Does this sound too good to be true? There are a lot of people who, just like you, think this strategy is too simple to be effective. The only way to know for certain is to try it for yourself. What do you have to lose? No one has to know but you, and you just may find that the benefits are so great that you want to share them with everyone you know. Here are a few other affirmations you can use:

I see myself realistically and objectively
I find deep inner peace with myself as I am
I say positive things about myself to myself
All of my false images of myself from the past are now dissolved
I love and accept all parts of myself
I love and accept all of my thoughts and feelings as part of myself
I have positive self esteem apart from others judgments and criticisms
I love and approve of myself without pleasing others
I accept myself completely as I am, though I recognize areas for improvement
I value and honor myself as I am, though I recognize areas for improvement
I am loving and accepting of who I am and who I am becoming
I feel total peace with my powerful positive self-esteem

Dealing with Previous Conflicts

Dispute is never an easy thing to deal with, but old, deeply rooted disputes can actually affect your body, mind and spirit. When you permit a past conflict to stew and become a determining part of a human relationship, it can be tough to move forward, but it’s not unachievable, it’s just a matter of making the correct conflict solution approach. 

Look at the Dispute with an Open Heart and Mind 

 A Lot of times a past conflict can be resolved by just looking at it with a new, calm perspective.  When you learn how to look at a past dispute without increasing your blood pressure or a sleepless night, you’ll be much more likely to find an favorable solution. 

The first thing you should do is look at the conflict objectively.  You need to raise all of the issues on your mind, but you must always be respectful. Actively listen to the other person, then ask that they do the same for you. Remember to focus on the problem, not the individual because personal assaults have never resolved anything! If you’re having a tough time communicating, a third-party can help mediate the discussion so that all parties are equally heard. 

Use your mutual interests and concerns as a starting point.  For example, if you were fighting with a sibling over a parent’s estate, perhaps you were both trying to ensure that the estate was as fair and balanced as possible.  Go forward from this point so that you start at a place where you both agree. 

Brainstorm resolutions that everyone can agree on.  Conflict usually occurs when one or both parties feel inequality, so get together and brainstorm ideas that will help you resolve the dispute.  You may find that you are actually building on one another’s ideas. That’s a good thing! The goal is to come to a resolution that offers mutual gain. 

Create standards of how things will be going forward and create all of your agreements surrounding these criteria.  This will help to ensure that you don’t have the same obstacles in the future.  By setting specific standards, everyone will be able to communicate in the most respectful and effective way moving ahead. 

Accept What You Cannot Change 

We all hear that we should accept the things that we cannot change, but this is easier said than done. When it comes to past disputes you should always seek to solve them first. If you cannot, it’s time to accept the things that you cannot change. 

• Give up control.  When you give up trying to control what is unmanageable suddenly the stress of handling with the dispute dissolves. You will feel like a mountain has been lifted off of your shoulders and you may find that you have a whole new look on life as well as the conflict and the person or people involved with it. 
• Share what you feel.  When you are feeling angry, hurt or stressed, try sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or family member.  It’s easier to move past disputes when you have sounding boards at your disposal.  You don’t necessarily have to talk to someone who was involved in the conflict, just share your feelings openly and honestly. By getting it out of your mind and off your chest, you’re able to find peace within your heart. 
• Look for the positives.  There are always positive things that come from every situation, even the worst of all conflicts. For example, you may have realized the importance of communication, interpersonal relationships, or forgiveness.  When you can find something good about a past situation you’ll find that coping with dispute is much easier. 
• Focusing on forgiveness.  When you focus on forgiveness, the hurt associated with conflict suddenly disappears. After all, we all make mistakes from time to time. When you understand that we live in an imperfect world it’ll be easier to let go of the hurt feelings and anger associated with the dispute. 

Focus and Presistence The Key to Weight Loss

Lossing weight can be nerve-racking. It’s among the most difficult thing you will ever attempt to do.   If you ask 100 different individuals regardless of who they are, I’d wager the vast majority would indcate  losing weight was a major problem.

Slimming down can be difficult because it’s frequently done for a special occassion.  Shedding a few pounds just in time to fit iinto that dress for the holiday party,  or next weekend’s beach trip. Even though it took time to put on the weight, somehow we want it to as if by magic vanish instantly. The fact is that slimming down takes time for everyone. You’re not alone!

Regrettably, those few extra pounds can’t  just melt off our bodies, and that’s why most people find it hard to remain presistent and focused on our weight loss goals. Fortunately, there’s a solution and it all begins with a positive and confident mindset.

Weight Loss Affirmations

The trouble that a lot of of us have is that when the weight doesn’t disappear immediately, we get frustrated or discouraged, and that causes us to give  into the  temptation.of making the wrong food choices.  We have thoughts of, “Nothing’s ever going to work so I might as well just eat” that set us back when we have just barely in the weight loss process.

Instead of permitting these thoughts to plant a negative seed in your mind,  use affirmations to positively react to negative thoughts. Doing so will also serve as a reminder of your goal. Weight loss affirmations can help you shed pounds by encouraging you to stay focused and motivated, even in times of struggle and disappointment.

Overcoming Self-Defeating Thoughts

We all would like to believe we have the self-discipline necessary to lose weightt. Healthy nutrition often feels like it involves a great deal of  work and  time, it’s easy to get discouraged and give in to temptation. The problem is that when we get frustrated or impatient, we lose sight of why we initially started on this journey. If you decide to abandon your efforts or are tempted by a forbidden food, you can pull out your list of affirmations and use them to combat the self-defeating thoughts and attitudes.

The greatest thing about affirmations is that they can be used any time of the day or night. After all, they will become embedded into your subconscious! The more you use them, the more your behavior and decisions will change, and the more power you will have over self-defeating thoughts. Here are a few affirmations you can try.  Use those that resonate with you.

I dissolve all blocks to reaching a healthy weight for me

I forgive myself for substituting one appetite for another

I fill all physical appetites in physically healthy ways

I am aware of my eating habits and how they affect my weight

I am willing to change my eating habits and I do so easily
I enjoy the process of reaching a healthy weight for me
I do everything I need to do to achieve my healthy weight
I see myself at my healthy weight and I achieve it
I have non-stop daily determination to reach my healthy weight
It is easy for me to stay on my plan to obtain my healthy weight
I have a positive attitude about what I eat, how I eat, and when I eat
I dissolve all need and all triggers to overeat
I enjoy eating less while getting all the nutrition I need
I eat the foods and amounts that keep my weight where I want it to be
Developing healthy eating habits becomes easier each day
I stay on a healthy eating plan and maintain my healthy weight easily

Transforming Change Is Necessary For Growth

As you reflect on your life, realize that every growth period is accompanied, and sometimes caused, by significant changes. Like it or not you must be willing to transform if you wish to grow and have the desire to become the best you can be.

Accept change as a normal part of your daily life. Let go of the tendency to hold on to life as it is and welcome new changes as opportunities. This is especially true since you don’t know what’s around the corner, so why resist change? It could be just what you need!

Open up your mind to new possibilities. This allows you to accept new ideas and grow exponentially.

To develop new skills, make up your mind to change old habits and make new ones to create the life you desire. Be ready to take action to pursue your goals, changing your  path from time to time will help overcome challenges.

Remember you grow as a result of changes- so welcome change!

Everyday life causes you to grow in mind, body and spirit as you become more knowledgeable and wise with each life experience.  Every change can add to your inner strength if you let it; so, “Bring ‘em on,” and you’ll only get better and better!

Today, I welcome changes as opportunities to grow. Come what may, I know I have the strength to tackle them with optimism and the wisdom to seek their advantages.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1.  Do I resist change?
2.  What changes in my life have resulted in significant growth?   What area of my life would I like to improve upon today?
3. What changes can I make to strengthen myself in this area?

“Get Smart” With 15 Supercharging Brain Activities

Most of us (if you’re  willing to admit it) are a little afraid of a deteriorating  memory as we get older.   Here’s the thing if you don’t keep your mind active, studies have show that your brain loses some of its functionality as you age, which causes memory loss, brain fog, and even Alzheimer’s – ouch.

A well-stimulated brain also elevates your mood, which helps you feel better on the inside.

Here are 15 brain boosting activities:

1. Play games that challenge and stimulate your mind. These include:

•  Picture Puzzles
•  Strategy Games 
•  Crossword Puzzles
•  Card Games
•  Deduction Games (such as Clue)
•   Sudoku or word puzzles
•  Optical Illusions

2. Reading stimulates the brain as it activates your imagination. Reading also helps with memory retention and problem solving, especially if you’re reading a mystery. Also, self-help books stimulate your brain by helping you to think for yourself, as well as find solutions in your mind.

3. Exercising helps circulate blood that carries oxygen to your brain. Over the long-term, exercise is proven to increase brainpower and even create new neurons – and you thought exercise was only good for the body.

4. Stimulate your brain with meditation. Meditation has been shown to increase your IQ, relieve stress, and promote a higher level of brain functioning. Meditation also stimulates the prefrontal cortex of the brain, the area of the brain responsible for advanced thinking, ability and performance.

5. Deep breathing helps deliver oxygen to your brain.  Oxygen helps you be more alert and awake. As little as 10 to 15 minutes of deep breathing daily can increase brain functionality.

6. Taking fish oil supplements is literally like membrane material for the brain.  The two primary components in fish oil, DHA and EPA, strengthen the emotional center of the brain and boost focus.

7. Studies have proven that listening to music strengthens the right hemisphere of the brain and actually changes the structure of it. Also, people who listen to music are shown to be more emotionally intelligent than those who don’t.

8. Writing improves memory and thought expression.  Writing articles, blogs, or journal entries stimulates thought processes, which also enhances brain function.

9. Sleep clears out brain clutter and reduces brain fog. When you don’t get enough sleep at night, your memory and normal brain function suffers.

10. Painting is shown to be an effective brain booster in that it sparks the creativity within you. Even if you’ve never tried painting before, give it a shot. You’ll find that you feel more creative and may actually enjoy it.

11. Starting the day out with a good breakfast has been proven to supply energy to the brain and body for the whole day. When you skip breakfast, you’re missing out on a powerful edge, both physically and mentally.

12. Walking allows you to clear your mind and thoughts. Not only is it good exercise for your body, walking gives your brain a chance to wander freely, clearing it of any troublesome thoughts.

13. Drink a serving of pure fruit juice. Fruit juice contains nutrients that revitalize and refresh the brain. Juices to drink are pomegranate, blueberry, and cranberry as they deliver more focus and energy.

14. Students who drink some caffeine before an exam typically have higher scores than those who don’t. This is because caffeine stimulates activity in the brain, which produces better focus and thinking ability. Don’t overdo it though!

15. Draw a picture. Like painting, drawing stimulates the creative side of your brain. So get out some colored pencils and start boosting your brainpower.

To get the most out of these brain boosting activities, mix them up and do a variety of them at different times. Just choosing one won’t boost your brainpower, however, combining and alternating them will give your brain t

Stress Free Living with Gardening Therapy

Until a few years ago I would have never put stress free living in the same sentence as horticulture.  After all isn’t that  hard work.  What I found in Horticulture, more commonly known as gardening, is a calm, introspective activity.  A lot of people live in apartments or condominiums where there’s little or no place to garden. Then there are those who live in houses with well kept  lawns maintianed by a landscaper  because the homeowner has too much on her plate to garden.

Gardening requires time and you tell yourself you have too much to do and no time. Well, that’s the point – you need to get away from the stress of your day-to-day schedule and gardening is great way to do that!  Whether you have a enormous backyard or a couple of containers on a patio, you’ll be able to enjoy the therapeutic benefits of gardening.

More and more psychologists and physicians are prescribing gardening for stress reduction therapy everyday. Gardening allows you to enjoy an activity that’s nurturing and gives back whatever you put into it.

In our instant gratification world, gardening changes the importance of time. Plants don’t grow overnight. During the growing time, plants require attention and depend upon you to protect them from bugs and disease.

Gardening teaches patience that over-stressed, extremely anxious people don’t appear to have. If you’re facing burnout and stress from work or your personal life, gardening is an activity that gets you outside and actually helps to lower your blood pressure.

Gardening can also give you a secure place to take out your frustrations. Angry with  your co-worker?  Spend your time focuing you your gardening and not your colleagues.. Need to work out some anger?  Pull weeds.

And if you really would like to work out some emotions, work until your dead tired and sweating,  cut off a few  dead branches or  mulch the flower beds. In this ways, you get something constructive out of negative emotions.  Even if your thumb isn’t very green, you can arrange a Zen rock garden surrounded with easy to care for plants in small containers.

If you use small containers, you only stand to lose a few plants at a time. Then you replace the container and don’t have to dig in the dirt. That’s much easier and faster.  Another way to make your garden a peaceful place is to add a water feature.

Local home improvement stores have kits with everything you need and classes on how to set up a fountain or pond. Even a small water feature on the patio can bring more of a sense of accomplishment and peace to your garden then you can even imagine.

As you gain more gardening experience, you will be able to  grow different types of plants. Check with your local plant nursery for suggestions on what types of plants fit into the limits of your outdoor environment and within your skillset. Gardening might just become habit-forming it’s a effective way to decrease stress and provide tranquility.