Ways to heal yourself without medicine

How to “Unlearn Your Pain”   By Howard Schubiner, MD

 There are literally millions of people currently suffering with chronic pain.  My work with people with chronic pain has shown me what a devastating impact pain can have on one’s life.  Every day, someone tells me that pain has “ruined their life,” or that they have become a “professional pain patient.”  Since I started the Unlearn Your Pain program in 2003, I have learned a great deal about pain and I am thrilled to report that we have seen amazing results in the majority of people who enter this program.  In fact, a recent follow up study showed that people who entered the 4-week program at Providence Hospital in Southfield, MI had the following results.  67% had at least a 30% reduction in pain at a 6 month follow up evaluation and 54% had at least a 50% reduction in pain.  These are remarkable results, given that the average duration of pain was about 9 years!

There are several steps to Unlearning Your Pain and the complete program for healing can be found in my book.  In this article, I will offer a synopsis of the steps that I have found helpful in reversing chronic pain.

First, it is critical to understand what is causing the pain.  This might seem easy, but often it is more difficult than one might imagine.  Those with chronic pain that is caused by cancer often require strong pain medications.  I do not work with pain caused by cancer, fractures, or infections/inflammation.  However, the majority of people with chronic pain have pain that is diagnosed as fibromyalgia, migraine or tension headaches, or irritable bowel syndrome.  The pain in those disorders is just as real as the pain caused by cancer, fractures or infections.  However, that pain is not caused by a structural disease process in the body.  It is caused by learned nerve pathways.  Learned nerve pathways are simply connections between the brain and body that produce actions in the body.  If you learned to ride a bicycle as a child, that develops a learned nerve pathway.  That pathway will always exist and you’ll be able to ride a bike later in life.  Signing a name, eating, walking, and reacting to every day events are all caused by learned nerve pathways.  Cutting edge neuroscience has shown that pain pathways can be learned and can persist for year in the absence of a disease process in the body.  This is the cause of most chronic pain, including most back and neck pain.  (Please see my website or my book for a detailed description of how back and neck pains are typically caused by these pathways.)

Once you have determined that your pain is caused by learned nerve pathways (this is also known as Tension Myositis Syndrome, a term coined by Dr. John Sarno in The Mindbody Prescription, or Mind Body Syndrome, as described in Unlearn Your Pain), the next step is to figure out what has led to the development of these pain pathways.  There is a detailed process for doing this in Unlearn Your Pain.  Briefly, a careful review of life events is usually sufficient to find connections between stressful life events and the onset of these pain syndromes.  Here are a couple of examples that illustrate how stressful life events can trigger severe and chronic pain. 

A 45 year old woman was abused both physically and sexually for much of her childhood. She developed anxiety in childhood which was manifest by fear of being alone and the need to connect as much as possible to the people in her life, including her abusers. This is a common reaction to abuse; with the other common reaction being fear and inability to connect to anyone and the inability to feel emotions. She also blamed herself for the abuse and develop the belief that she was unworthy of love and self-esteem. As she grew up, she experienced other events which caused fear and anxiety, such as the loss of a boyfriend (who spread false rumors about her), the death of a parent, a divorce after her husband “cheated” on her and the loss of a job (after being harassed by a boss). Each of these stressors in later life caused the onset of a new symptom. Initially irritable bowel syndrome, then severe headaches, then TMJ pain, then pelvic pain, and finally widespread pain, diagnosed as fibromyalgia.

A 47 year old woman presented with head pain for 17 years. She had seen over 20 physicians, including several headache clinics and had even had facial surgery to try to alleviate the pain. She had also been on over 20 different medications without relief. Her mother was described as “being in her own world” and her father was described as being “bipolar.” When her father was in a bad mood, he would grab her by her collar and scream at her: “You idiot; you jerk; what’s wrong with you?; can’t you do anything right?” These events recurred on a regular basis during her childhood. She developed no symptoms until she was 30 years old. One day, she obtained a new pair of glasses and immediately upon putting them on, she developed pain on the left side of her head which lasted for 17 years. When asked about the stressors in her life when she got her new glasses, she realized that she has just gotten a new boss, who was a “mean and nasty woman” who used to yell and scream at her.

The third step in the process of healing is to recognize that the pain is caused by learned nerve pathways, that there is no serious physical or structural problem in your body, and that you can actually get better!  This is a powerful and important step that activates healing and serves to reduce pain.

Finally, I suggest a process to reverse the pain.  In the program I’ve developed, it consists of a 4-week course of exercises designed to better understand and cope with stress and emotional distress.  The program is contained in Unlearn Your Pain and consists of therapeutic writing exercises, meditative exercises, sets of affirmations, and learning to make necessary changes to promote contentment and well-being.  It is truly amazing to see people take on the challenge of changing their lives in order to reverse their pain.  Some people get better quite quickly as they learn to let go of anger, guilt, or fear from prior stressful events.  Others need to make significant changes in their lives in order to free themselves from stressful situations that are ongoing.  Some people gradually work on taking control and stopping their pain over time.  The key to resolving chronic pain is understanding what is causing it.  If you suffer from chronic pain and haven’t been helped by the traditional medical or alternative health methods, you might be suffering from a condition (learned nerve pathways) that can be reversed.  And it might not be that difficult to accomplish.

Unlearn Your Pain is available from http://www.amazon.com/or from www.unlearnyourpain.com

Take a Deep Breath

In our society of ever increasing use of prescription drugs to reduce stress levels or anxiety, many entrepreneurs are too quick to grab for a bottle – some type of magic pill to solve their stress or anxiety issues. 

In fact, you may have noticed that in an age of fast food restaurants, drive thrus, microwave ovens, and blackberries, it seems that our demand for instant satisfaction has surfaced in every area of our lives.  And as a result, it impacts our emotional well-being on a monumental scale.  And I have often said to others … if only I could get the world to stop spinning for just an hour or so, then I could truly relax and feel better!

In this article today, we’re going to discuss methods that you can use to help you to SLOW DOWN, and take some time to enjoy life in our fast-paced society.

Whether you’re a work-at-home entrepreneur, or an employed individual working for a corporation, the opportunities to escape from our work lives get tougher with each passing year.  Email, instant messaging, cell phones and black berries have even made it impossible for some – and feel they are strapped to their desks 24/7.  And if this sounds like you, you might even resent the fact that you can never seem to “get away” from work.

Whether you love your job or your hate it,  if your thoughts are always on work (whether you’re at the office or not) it will eventually come to a head … a point where your world will come crashing down and you will have reached a breaking point.  To prevent this from happening, the first step is to come to realize that you’re headed down that road.

We all have different methods of coping with stress.  And often one of the first areas that we sacrifice is adequate sleep.  Whether it’s intentional or not, we may find ourselves, awake too late into the evening, or even waking up throughout the night.  And when morning eventually arrives, it doesn’t feel like our sleep was restful.

You may have heard some people say that a change is as good as a rest.  And there’s definitely some truth to this statement.  That’s because when you change to a different set of activities you are not only thinking about different things but also exercising different muscle groups in our bodies.

Take for example an individual who works at a computer throughout the day.  Physical stress on the body includes the back, arms, wrists, hands, and eyes.  By sitting in an adjustable chair – or switching to another one close by, you are modifying the posture of your body.  A simple adjustment up or down (even as little as one or two inches).  This reduces the stress on all these muscle groups that are being used and strained throughout the day.

Other minor changes that you can do to your work environment are to ensure that your computer monitor is at the ideal height for your body, and to make sure that no part of your body stretches too far as you reach for your mouse, keyboard, or other input device.

By placing your printer “out of reach” rather than within arm’s length, you force yourself to stand up and perhaps walk a few steps to retrieve your printed documents.  Once again, this is because a change is as good as a rest.

People who work in a corporate office or other large company often enjoy scheduled breaks or brief chats at the water cooler.  If you’re working alone at home, this is sometimes harder to do, and you might even feel unnecessary.  But by including short breaks in your day (even if only for five to ten minutes), productivity will increase and you’ll more than make up for the few minutes that you have taken away from your busy work time.

So in conclusion, remember that a change is as good as a rest.  Identify ways that you can incorporate CHANGE into your work day, and your body will feel less impact from the stress of sitting in the same position, hour after hour, day after day.

Don’t Let Your Brain Get Flabby – Quick and Simple Brain Exercises

Did you know that the brain acts like the muscles in the body? Every time you use your brain, it becomes stronger and more effective. Just like working out, your brain will become more responsive, efficient, and effective when you do brain exercises. You will simply feel stronger, sharper, and more attentive than ever before.

Brain Exercises for You to Try

Some brain exercises may make you feel a little silly at first, but they are worth all of the perceived embarrassment and uneasiness. Try to put any worries aside while you exercise your mind. You’ll soon notice benefits that you couldn’t possibly have experienced any other way.

One of the best brain exercises is simple but effective: Step outside of your comfort zone and learn something new. Even if you pick up a new book about something you knew nothing about before, you are exercising your brain and using parts of it that you may have never used before. Learning really does exercise the brain. Just think of all the exercise you’ve given your mind since you were a child!

Sharpen Your Mind Through Song

You may not be aware of this, but singing is another way to exercise your brain. When you are encountering a problem or are thinking about solutions, try singing through it.  Singing uses a different part of the brain than speaking does, so when you sing through your concerns, you are giving the other side of your brain a workout! You may also find that you are able to uncover more creative solutions or unique answers to plaguing questions than ever before.

Engage In Some Mind Benders

Puzzles are a great way to put your brain to work.  Putting together a puzzle is not only a relaxing and fun way to spend your time, but it also helps you use your brain in a unique way that you wouldn’t typically do. Pick up a new puzzle every once in a while and have fun putting it together while you give your brain a workout! 

You can also try crossword puzzles, Sudoku, or word searches. These all are great ways to become a more efficient and effective thinker, but they are also fun!  By engaging your mind in rigorous exercise, you will reap significant benefits in terms of your health, happiness, and productivity. Who would say no to that?

Creating a Healthy Mindset

Another way to exercise your brain is to create a healthy mindset. We all have negative thoughts that hold us back from doing the things that we need to do. One way to exercise your mind is to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. You can do this by repeating positive affirmations or motivational quotes throughout your day. Or perhaps you can print your favorite quotes and tape them to your fridge, bathroom mirror, computer screen, or other places that will get your constant attention.

The more you use positive statements, the healthier you will feel. This exercises your mind in the most positive way, and is a way that truly could change your life, one thought at a time!

Is It Time To Simplifying Your Life?

If you’re stressed and can’t seem to find a moments peace, it’s probably time to simplify your life. We often make our lives more difficult than it needs to be, so when we dial our busy lives down a notch or two, things become much simpler and your stress level fall, suddenly life will be much more enjoyable and easier to manage. 

Not everything has equal importance.  So what really matters? Here are a few ways to de-stress during these stressful times.

6 Simple Ways to Simplify Your Life

1. Determine what is important. Make a list of all activities you have going on in your life right now.  You should look at the first four or five and make sure that you are putting more of your energy into these things.  It is the first four or five things in your life such as your relationship, family, and work that should get the most emphasis on a day-to-day basis.  Once you make this list, it’s a whole lot easier to see where you’re spending most of your time (and where you should be spending more time).
2. Reconsider your commitments.  Many times we simply over-commit ourselves.  You should look at the “extras” in your life and see how they align with the things that are most important to you.  If there are things that you are committed to doing that you don’t enjoy or don’t add meaning to your life, consider giving them up.  You can reduce stress and make your life more relaxed when you release yourself from commitments that are only tying you down.
3. Say no.  Many times when we’re stressed it’s because we don’t know how to say no to the people in our lives.  Saying no to kids, family, friends, and even the boss is important.  I know it can be tough to say no, but you can say it with grace or by delegating the request to another capable person.  If you’re finding it difficult to stay firm, remember that you are not superman or superwoman. You can’t possibly take on the world by yourself!
4. Simplify your work.  Every day when you’re at work you likely have a 10-page to-do list. In reality, there are things that just aren’t all that important and aren’t worth the effort. And yes, there will be some things that you’ll never get around to. That’s okay! Accept that fact and re-evaluate your activities to determine what is really essential and do away with the rest.
5. Involve the family.  There is as much to do at home as there is at work.  Make your family your team and involve them in the home activities.  Get everyone involved in the little tasks around the home such as taking out the trash, dusting, and doing the dishes.  For example, you can require that each family member pick up 20 things around the house before bed.  This way, cleaning the house is a lot easier and you can spend more of your time relaxing instead of worrying about every little task around the home.
6. Clear the clutter.  In your home and office there are probably a lot of things that are cluttering your space.  Everything must have its place – even if it’s in the trash!  When you clear the clutter from your space, you’ll find that cleaning, finding things, and simply going about your daily life is a lot simpler and a whole lot less stressful.

As you can see, simplifying your life does not have to be difficult.  You just need to get back to basics and do away with everything else.  Living a simple life is living a happier, less stressed life and that’s something that we can all aspire to do.

Stress Free Living – Finding Inner Peace

Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night with a panicky feeing about all you need to get done the next day? Are you ever overwhelmed about where to start because you have so much to do and no time to get it done?

Everyone has these feelings from time to time, but you can learn to find inner peace. A peaceful mind is a more calm and serene mind, and in learning to remove anxious thoughts, you also find more joy in your life!

How to Achieve Peace Within

When you have a mind that will not stop, you usually are hard-pressed to find inner peace. The more your mind races, the more anxious and frustrated you may become, and this can lead to unproductive days, weeks, months and sometime even years. You don’t have to continue to live this way. There are many ways to calm your overanxious mind and you really can learn how to live a more calm and peaceful life.

If your mind starts running a million miles a minute and you’re not sure which way to turn next, try to pause and repeat a positive affirmation. When you use the power of positive self-talk, you will program your mind to work in a new and different way.

When things seem as if they are getting out of hand, you can use an affirmation such as, “I trust my ability to relax. I am calm and peaceful.” Although this may not be the case at the moment, if you repeat this constantly you will start to believe it. This will help you change your inner dialogue in those moments when you are tempted to succumb to the craziness surrounding you.

Positive affirmations are important because they give you permission to turn off the negative dialogue in your mind and replace it with positive thoughts. The negative dialogue feeds the feelings of turmoil, and when you replace them with peaceful affirmations, you change your life, one positive statement at a time. 

If you have a hard time believing that this strategy will work for you, give it a try with an open heart and mind. It really does work!  In no time at all, you’ll feel more peaceful in every area of your life.

Many of us feel like we cannot do anything about the crazy lives we lead and the inner discontent we feel. I can assure you that this is not true! When you use positive affirmations, you can reprogram your brain so that there is only room for positive thoughts. You will be surprised to find how quickly a positive affirmation such as, “I trust that there is a plan for my life, even if it has yet to be revealed to me” can work for you.

If you feel like your life has gotten off course and you don’t think it’s possible to lead a calm life, why not give a peaceful affirmation a chance?  If you repeat affirmations often enough, you’ll soon begin to believe them, and you’ll turn a seemingly simple statement into reality.

So how do you find inner peace.  Be sure to post a comment here.

Stress Free Living Tips for Dads

Many people think that dads have the easy job, but this is not true.  When you look at the job of a dad you’ll see that they are expected to move easily between their professional and family lives, all the while remaining calm, relaxed, productive, and attentive. 

If you’re a dad you are likely experiencing stress on a daily or weekly basis.  There are some great stress management tips that you can work into your life so you can continue to be the very best dad you can be, regardless of how old your children are.

Stress Relief Tips Just For Dads

1. Make sure that you are taking care of yourself.  Not only does your family count on you being well, so does your employer, friends, and others.  Eat right, get enough sleep, and make sure you are taking vitamins.  When you combine these things, you help to fight off stress by building up your immune system so you are more likely to be healthy.
2. Be a member of a team.  Make your family your team.  If you try to do everything on your own, you will suffer burnout in short order.  When everyone pitches in around the house, you will find that you have a lot less stress overall and you can be a more attentive and involved father.
3. Make time management a priority.  When you are a parent you have a lot of different things vying for your time.  That’s why you’ll want to manage your time well so you can be where you need to be, when you need to be there.  You can do simple things to make your life and the lives of your family members easier. For example, create a chores schedule, work together with your spouse to prepare meals ahead of time, or create a schedule to pick up the kids.  When you manage your time you will be able to get more done without the headaches.
4.  Create a support network.  When you are stressed out or angry you should be able to talk to someone to vent. Sometimes just being able to say how you are feeling or what is stressing you out can help a lot.  Your support network can consists of your spouse, friends, or even family members. 
5. Communicate with your spouse.  When you have kids it can be difficult to get a full thought out in one breath because of constant interruptions.  That’s all the more reason to make a concerted effort to communicate well with your spouse.  This will allow you to work better as a team so the family unit functions well, but it will also help you be attentive to one another’s needs. After all, you need to love and support each other first!

Being a dad is a rewarding experience, but it can also be stressful at times.  The strategies mentioned above can be worked into any dad’s schedule so stress is always kept in check.  When you start to incorporate these strategies into your life, everyone will benefit because a relaxed dad is a friendly, interactive, and present dad and that is what every child wants and needs from both of their parents. 

The great thing about these stress tips for dads is that they are easy to incorporate into your life, so becoming less stressed doesn’t need to be a stressful experience!  Take action, today, to proactively manage your stress and your entire family will benefit.

Stress Free Living Tips for Moms

Being a mother will likely be one of the most difficult things you have ever done, but on the other hand, it will be one of the most rewarding jobs of your life.  As a mother, you often forget to take care of yourself because you’re caught up in the madness that is life.  It doesn’t matter if you’re a stay at home mom or you work outside the home, being a mother is stressful!  Luckily, there are some great strategies to help you deal with mom stress.

Stress Tips For Every Mother

Get the kids on a schedule.  The best thing that every mother can do for herself is to get her kids on a schedule and keep them on it.  When you try to stick to a routine you’ll feel more comfortable handling breakfasts, lunches, naps, and bed times.  When you don’t have a schedule, you may begin to feel scattered or disorganized and your stress levels will increase exponentially!  Things are always unpredictable when kids are involved, but when you have even the simplest structure, your days will be a little more predictable and you’ll save your sanity!

Don’t be afraid to put yourself in time out.  Many mothers feel like they just have to keep pushing forward when they are about to come unglued.  Moms get stressed and often need to take a breather, just like kids!  Instead of continuing to push forward when you are about to snap, walk into another room and just breathe deeply for a few minutes.  While you are breathing, picture how you would like to respond to the situation and then remind yourself that it is important for you to follow through in a calm manner. After all, you’re a role model for your children.  A minute or two in “time out” can make for a great day for the whole family!

Eat healthy.  If you ask 100 moms what their diets are like, at least 85 of them will look at you and cringe.  Unfortunately, there’s a tendency to just eat what you can, when you can.  Even if you are on the go you need to make a conscious effort to eat well.  When you eat nutritious foods, you are providing your body with the energy it needs to keep up with your kids and cope with the stress you encounter every day.

Create a support system.  Teaming up with other moms makes a great support system.  Even if you can’t get together every couple weeks, it is nice to know that you have someone you can call who won’t question your abilities but will just listen and empathize.  All mothers feel the stress that comes with the job, so make sure to surround yourself with other moms that will be happy to listen to you when you need a shoulder to lean on; and be sure to return the favor!

Make time for yourself.  As a mom, you may forget that you’re important too! This is why you need to make time for yourself every day.  You may think that there is no time, but there is if you get help or if you sneak in some relaxation after the kids go to bed or before they get up.  Give yourself a manicure or pedicure, drink that cup of tea slowly, read a book, take a long bath, or get a massage.  Your relaxation time doesn’t have to be extravagant, but it needs to be there.  Even 15 minutes every day can make all the difference!

Stress Free Living – Coping With Your Past Is Never Easy

Conflict is never an easy thing to deal with, but old, deeply rooted conflicts can really affect your body, mind and spirit. When you allow a past conflict to stew and become a defining part of a relationship, it can be challenging to move forward, but it’s not impossible, it’s just a matter of taking the right conflict resolution approach.

Look at the Conflict with an Open Heart and Mind

Many times a past conflict can be resolved by simply looking at it with a fresh, calm perspective.  When you learn how to look at a past conflict without raising your blood pressure or losing sleep, you’ll be much more likely to find an amicable resolution.

The first thing you should do is look at the conflict objectively.  You need to raise all of the issues on your mind, but you must always be respectful. Actively listen to the other person, then ask that they do the same for you. Remember to focus on the problem, not the person because personal attacks have never solved anything! If you’re having a difficult time communicating, a third-party can help mediate the discussion so that all parties are equally heard.

Use your mutual interests and concerns as a starting point.  For example, if you were fighting with a sibling over a parent’s estate, perhaps you were both trying to ensure that the estate was as fair and balanced as possible.  Go forward from this point so that you start at a place where you both agree.

Brainstorm resolutions that everyone can agree on.  Conflict usually occurs when one or both parties sense inequality, so get together and brainstorm ideas that will help you resolve the conflict.  You may find that you are actually building on one another’s ideas. That’s a good thing! The goal is to come to a resolution that provides mutual gain.

Create standards of how things will be going forward and create all of your agreements surrounding these standards.  This will help to ensure that you don’t have the same obstacles in the future.  By setting specific standards, everyone will be able to communicate in the most respectful and effective manner moving forward.

Accept What You Cannot Change

We all hear that we should accept the things that we cannot change, but this is easier said than done. When it comes to past conflicts you should always seek to resolve them first. If you cannot, it’s time to accept the things that you cannot change.

• Give up control.  When you give up trying to control what is uncontrollable suddenly the stress of dealing with the conflict dissolves. You will feel like a mountain has been lifted off of your shoulders and you may find that you have a whole new look on life as well as the conflict and the person or people involved with it.
• Share what you feel.  When you are feeling angry, hurt or upset, try sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or family member.  It’s easier to move past conflicts when you have sounding boards at your disposal.  You don’t necessarily have to talk to someone who was involved in the conflict, just share your feelings openly and honestly. By getting it out of your mind and off your chest, you’re able to find peace within your heart.
• Look for the positives.  There are always positive things that come from every situation, even the bitterest of all conflicts. For example, you may have realized the importance of communication, interpersonal relationships, or forgiveness.  When you can find something positive about a past situation you’ll find that coping with conflict is much easier.
• Focus on forgiveness.  When you focus on forgiveness, the pain associated with conflict suddenly disappears. After all, we all make mistakes from time to time. When you realize that we live in an imperfect world it’ll be easier to let go of the hurt feelings and anger associated with the conflict.

Prepare To Start Meditating

To start meditating, choose a time and a place where you won’t be disturbed for the duration of your meditation session.

When you are starting out, you may decide to set aside 5 minutes for your meditation session. This is plenty of time when you are beginning to meditate and in our hectic daily lives it may well be that this is the maximum amount of time that you feel you can devote to meditating. That’s fine. Whatever works for you is good – it’s much better to spend a few minutes a day meditating than to put it off completely. Over time, you will  want to increase the amount of time you spend in a meditative state, but that’s completely your choice.

If you can spare the time, your aim should be to have two 20 minute meditation sessions each day. Research has shown that spending this amount of time meditating leads to better health and can help reduce the stresses and strains of daily life. Your checklist for starting meditation:

• · Choose a meditation method from the chapters that follow.
• · Choose a time of day when you are unlikely to be disturbed.
• · Choose a place where you feel comfortable and can relax.

That’s all!

How To Live a Balanced Life

Is your life more hectic than ever? Do you find that you become tired more frequently, lose patience easily, experience moodiness, and are so stressed that you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel? Have you lost contact with your friends? Has fun completely gone out of your life? While we tend to think we can do it all; the problem is we can’t.  We forego simple pleasures, take on unnecessary burdens and, quite frankly, put other’s needs before our own. This is a recipe for ill-health, depression, and overall sadness.  It’s time to sit down and determine how to live a balanced life.

Performing selfless acts is noble, but it takes a toll we may not be aware of. There is nothing wrong with being selfish. While everyone seems to be concentrating on themselves, you are focusing on them.  The first step to a balanced life is to think about you and your needs. If you fall apart, you won’t be of any use to anyone.  Selfishness is not defined by an inability to help others; it is the means by which you regenerate yourself by focusing on your own needs.  Simple ordinary pleasures can make a world of difference in your life such as: a manicure, a day out with friends; a new outfit.

You’re mental and emotional state has more to do with the balance within than you realize.  Worry drains us; yet we can’t seem to control it.  We tolerate many things which essentially drain our energy, leaving us feeling empty and void of feeling. Sleepless nights ensue, and the cycle begins all over again the next day. Confront the problems head on; let the water out of the tank before it bursts open. Worry about the things you can control.

Protect your space from intruders who are intent on invading your thoughts and inner peace.  If someone is rude or makes a disparaging remark; walk away. If a situation arises creating angst, deal with it then let it go.  Don’t let it disrupt your life by claiming it as your own. You didn’t create it, nor are you responsible for it.  Try not to solve the ills of the world or place the burden on your shoulders.  Life is hard enough without placing unimportant needs ahead of your own.

A path well taken is one of integrity and honesty. Love yourself; look in the mirror every morning and acknowledge the unique person you are.  Empower yourself to accomplish your most intimate goals.  Acknowledge the kindness and good in you; you may be hard pressed to fine anyone who will. Conduct yourself with dignity and honor. Finally, take charge of your life; nurture it, reward it; and the balance within will reveal itself through the smile on your face, and the gleam in your eyes.

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