Overcoming Perfectionism How To Live In The Middle

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MH900387262Perfectionism is fairly common. In fact, it quite natural for us to strive to be perfect. I don’t know anyone who enjoys making mistakes and exposing their weaknesses. Haven’t we always been told to do whatever it takes to improve ourselves? Remember the old saying “anything worth doing is worth doing well” and society has constantly reinforced this idea.

Perfectionism causes a great deal of unhappiness. It creates a life of fear at every turn because of the high standards believed to be important. This causes discouragement and the feeling of never quite making it, because of a preoccupation with what other people think. They fear they won’t be able to complete the job up to their own sometimes unrealistic expectations. They focus on details rather than the overall objectives, and they fear making mistakes.

It destroys relationships as people tend to pick, pick, pick at each other whether it’s in a marriage or between parent and child or business relationship. There is a perverse need to be right. Here are some other common effects of perfectionism:

• Trouble setting realistic goals and taking steps toward them
• Unable to relax and enjoy an ordinary life
• Extremely sensitive to criticism (and much of the criticism is self-induced)
• Tendency to look at problems rather than solutions
• Strained relationships
• Insomnia

For some this tendency makes it nearly impossible to even think about trying something new.

Perfectionism can be toxic. On its extreme edge it can cause paralyzing inaction. There is such a high degree of fear of failure it becomes impossible to do anything because maybe you might be wrong. If not handled effectively this paralysis may lead to depression. You just have to look at all the reality TV shows, Dancing with the stars, American Idol, The Bachelor (just to name a few), to see how being perfect is worshiped in our current culture.

It has been said that a person who isn’t making at least some mistakes isn’t make much of a life. Life is about constant trial and error, a series of discoveries about what works and what doesn’t. Mistakes are a natural part of the learning process.
Now let’s take a look at a few things that you can do starting right now to end toxic perfectionism.

Choose to be in the now. Perfectionist tend to ruminate unnecessarily over details, thinking about what went wrong yesterday and planning everything that has to be done tomorrow, next wee, and next month. Although there is no harm in being on top of things and accountable, however the only thing that is truly available is the present moment. Next time you’re rushing from here to there, pause and notice exact details in your environment. What types of clouds are in the sky? What sounds are evident in the moment, traffic, neighbors, music, air conditioning?

Anticipate positive consequences. Instead of worrying about what could go wrong, with practice learn to look at the options and move toward results that seems best at the moment. Gradually, anticipations become positive instead of negative. This is quite liberating. Confidence grows when you sense positive outcomes.

Prioritize. Perfections have difficulty relegating and as a result waste a significant amount of time doing things that could give to someone else. And when necessary learn how to leave some things undone. There is never enough time to get everything done, so allow impossible expectations to shrink to manageable realities.

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Are You Feeling Overwhelmed And Not Getting Things Done? – 7 Ways To Get More Done

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Juggle-time-154x300Time is the great equalizer. Everyone gets the same number of hours to work and play each day. No matter who you are, where you live and what you do you get a 24-hour cycle just like everyone else. One person may be wealthier than another, but that doesn’t earn her a minute more in a 24 hour period than the poorest among us all.

Discovering how to manage your time is part mental reorganization and part creating a system. It can be tempting to use interruptions as an excuse to postpone a project or task. Secretly we sometimes welcome the interlude. How convenient it is to have someone else to blame for not getting to a project. What we are really talking about here is procrastination.

The dictionary defines procrastination is the act of putting off, postponing or delaying intentionally and habitually something that ought to be done.

The lack of action might make you feel regretful for putting things off and not being productive. You become stressed and this becomes a excuse to postpone your actions even further.

Here’s what you may not have thought about, procrastination causes you to have a low sense of self-esteem, feel unworthy and worry that you are not meeting expectations. That’s because when you procrastinate, you are likely to overestimate the scope of a project until the thought of doing it overwhelms you to paralysis and nothing gets done. It’s said that procrastinators are frequently perfectionist who expect too much from themselves and become out of touch with their goals and dreams.

There are a lot of ways to avoid success in your life, but the most direct just might be procrastination. Procrastinators undermine themselves. They put obstacles in their own path. They actually choose paths that hurt their own performance.

  1. According to Dr Gail Saltz If there is something you need to do and not doing it you probably have a conflict about doing it. So the first to do in this case is to write down a list of the reasons you’re not doing the” thing ,” so you can consciously evaluate how valid they are. Decide if its something you are afraid of. Then make another list that hast to do with the first week, make a plan so you can start doing baby steps. When you put those things down clearly conscious on a piece of paper it helps you start moving in the right direction.
  2. Procrastination isn’t a problem of time management or of planning. Procrastinators are not different in their ability to estimate time. Instructing someone who is a chronic procrastinator to buy a weekly planner is like telling someone with chronic depression to just “let go and be happy.” It’s not going to work..
  3. Procrastinators are made not born. It’s a learned behavior, but not directly. Procrastination can even be a form of rebellion, one which you and only you are controlling the situation. Procrastinators often turn more to friends or family for support, who may unintentionally reinforce their putting things off habit because they tend to tolerate their explanations.
  4. Procrastinators often deceive themselves with self-perpetuating excuses such as, “I’ll feel more like doing this tomorrow.” Or “I work best under pressure.” But the truth is you won’t get the urge to get it done tomorrow nor do you work best under pressure
  5. Procrastinators seek distractions, mostly those that don’t require commitment. For example checking e-mail is almost perfect for this purpose. They distract themselves as a way of controlling their feelings. To set yourself up to get things done you need to make sure you remove all distractions. Turn off your phone, Skype, IM, and emails while you’re in focus time. If you work around other people put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your door. It’s uninterrupted focus time
  6. There are huge costs to procrastination. Health is one. Impaired immune systems in the form of more colds, flu, gastrointestinal problems and insomnia. If you get sick frequently take a look around you to see if you have been overwhelmed and frustrated recently. Maybe not getting things done. Under optimal conditions, the immune system is much more able to help the body heal itself. However, when conditions are not optimal, guide meditation or focused inner reflection can help the conscious mind perceive what the immune system requires the body to do to facilitate healing.
  7. Procrastinators tend to shift responsibility onto others, causing resentment. Taking full responsibility may not be any fun but it keeps your relationships strong and healthy. Make yourself accountable.

Just like breaking any habit procrastination tendencies won’t change overnight. When the thought of doing something is so overwhelming that it keeps you from taking action, one way to overcome this paralysis is to meditate on the thought itself. Imagine enclosing the dreaded task in a bubble and watch if flow away. What’s left? A thing that simply needs doing. So, do it!

Filed Under: Time management Tagged With: , , , , ,

Getting Ahead by Bring Your Work and Life into Balance

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Stressed womanYou may love your job or hate it, but one thing is certain.  Your job can stress you out!  Pole who are vulnerable to job stress may have particularly stressful jobs.  This is particularly true for executives who are driven by deadlines, and deal with difficult people, or for those of us who have a high internal pressure to succeed.

Here is a list of common work-related problems

  • Too little time
  • Too many responsibilities
  • Multiple interruptions
  • Excessive work loads
  • Emotional distress (anger, frustration worry or fear)
  • Conflicts with other people
  • Uncertainty (not knowing what to do)
  • Discrimination
  • Lack of appreciation

So, if your job and hectic lifestyle seems to take its toll in your physical, emotional and psychological well-being, stress relief techniques can bring your life back into balance.

Now for the myth about corporate loyalty.

In the business world, most employers say they care about their employees.  After all, people are their most important resource, so they’d better take care of them or they may lose them in the long run.  But for many companies, dollars are far more important than people.  When the chips are down, money will be conserved and people will be sacrificed.  The reason why money is more important to these companies than you are is because you can be replaced.  If you burn out, have a heart attack, or become disabled, someone else will take your place.

I don’t mean to imply that every company or all corporate leaders are insincere about their commitment to their employees well-being.  Sometimes you will find a company that is truly committed to you and your welfare.  I know because I work for one of those companies.  But the truth is finding a company like that is pretty rare these days.

The lack of loyalty itself is not the major culprit.  Rather it is our unconscious expectation that produce most of our stress and suffering.

So how do you deal with work stress?  Dealing with stress is critical and the first critical piece of business is to ignore the myth and get down to work doing the best job you possibility can.  Second, identify what areas of your work life are causing you the most stress.  Get out a pen and piece of paper or your journal if you have one (I highly recommend you do keep a journal), and answer the following questions.

  1. This is how I feel about the people I work with
  2. This is how I feel about the environment in which I work
  3. This is how I feel about the values and purpose behind my employer
  4. This is how I feel about the actual day-to-day work I do
  5. My favorite thing about work is
  6. My least favorite thing about work is
  7. I wish my job could change in these ways.

How you manage the stressors at your job depends on what those stressors are.  You can take different approaches:

  • Avoid the stressor
  • Eliminate the stressor (delegate or share a hated task)
  • Confront the stressor (talk to y0ur supervisor)
  • Manage the stressor (add something enjoyable to the task, give yourself a reward after completion)
  • Balance the stressor (put up with the stress but practice stress-relieving  techniques to balance out the effects)
  • Take short breaks. In times when you’re mentally stressed, take a break to clear your mind. Stepping away from your desk  briefly allows you to relax and recharge.
  • Create an uplifting environment. Decorate your office with photos, plants to liven up your workspace, or items that can lift your spirits.
  • Leave work at WORK. It’s important to distinguish your work life and living a life outside of work. Don’t burn yourself out by doing work after you get home at night.

Work is a big part of your life.  And as an executive you have a lot of responsibilities and a great number of people depending on you to be at your best, acting in their best interest no matter what’s going on around you.  If you can do something to avoid, eliminate, confront or balance the stress that comes from your work life, you entire life will be more balanced a less stressful.

Filed Under: Linda Hampton RN, Stress Management Tips, stress relief, Stress tips, work stress Tagged With: , ,

“Who’s the Boss?” 7 Ways to Take Control of Your Mind

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MH900284969At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and time management have nothing to do with one another. But many of us who are natural born clutters develop negative thinking patterns because we become exasperated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative attitude then makes it more difficult to control our feelings and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows you to focus on your accomplishments, which increases happiness and improves motivation. This, allows you to spend more time getting things done, and less time feeling stuck. The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself

It’s much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest. Commit to doing something good every day. Start with a single effort, maybe it’s eating just one healthy meal if you keep that up then it will be 2 healthy meals until you choose to eat healthy all the time. Sometime failure comes from trying to make a 360 degree change in one day.

2. Be Unceasingly Grateful

Daily Stressors won’t seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself about the things that are right in life. Take just one minutes every day to stop and appreciate the good things will makes an enormous difference.

3. Avoid Absolutes

Have you ever caught yourself saying (or thinking) to family or friends “You’re ALWAYS late!” or criticized a good friend by saying “You NEVER call me?” Thinking and speaking in absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’ makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

4. Disconnect From Negative Thoughts

Unfortunately, most of us have had the wrong kind of programming most of our life. Year after year, word by word, our life scripts were etched. We begin to believe what we’ve been told by others and most of it negative. Now here’s the good news your thoughts can’t hold any influence over you if you don’t judge them as true. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, disconnect from it. Don’t argue with it don’t judge it as bad just notice and let it go.

5. Practice You’ve Got That Lovin feeling – Give a Hug

You don’t have to be a genius to know the value of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant stress buster. Giving a hug serves to benefits, first you get instant stress relief, second you make somebody else feel mighty good!

6. Get Out and Get social

By increasing social activity, you reduce loneliness, and keep your mind on things other than yourself and your challenges. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

7. Volunteer Give a Hand To Get a Hand

Everyone feels good after helping somebody else. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

We all want to be more productive. But that can be pretty tuff when you don’t control how you spend your time. One of the biggest time wasters is the inactivity that occurs when you feel stressed and ruminate on all the negative things that may come into your day. Positive thinking is more than just a good thing to do, it’s emotionally healthy and can make you financially wealthy.

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Stressed-Out Business Owners – Are you Catching a Enough ZZZZZs?

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tired_young_woman_sleeping_in_her_office_on_her_laptopThe obstacle to your peace could be a number of things – the voice in your head reminding you of past mistakes, concern over not making enough money, or disagreements with your family .  Your obstacle might be the health scare you had when you went for your cancer screening, or your unruly teen who is tattooing and piercing every part of her body.

All of it causing stress and having a negative impact on your mind body and spirit including not getting enough sleep.  In any case, if you aren’t getting enough sleep you are increasing your stress, compromising your health and probably operating well below your potential.

One of the first and most important things to do to build a stress resilient  body is to get enough sleep on a regular basis. 

Here’s what I mean.  You look at the clock. It’s 2 a.m. You’ve been trying to get to sleep since 11 pm, and you’re still awake.  Your mind races, your eyes are burning and worse still you feel exhausted.. Your muscles are tense. You think you’ll never get any rest. Sound familiar? if so, you are one of 60 million people in the U.S. who suffer from some form of insomnia.

A recent survey by the National Sleep Foundation indicates that 58 percent of adults in America experience insomnia at least a few nights a week. Insomnia increases with age, afflicting approximately 30 percent of men and 40 percent of women.

Over half of the American work force reports that sleepiness on the job interferes with the amount of work they complete.

Unfortunately sleep disorders and insomnia often disturb our sleep even if we go to bed on time.

Sleep deprivation has a specific and dramatic physical effect on the body.  Te average adults requires eight hours of sleep per night.  If you don’t get enough sleep you could experience the following:

  • Increased irritability
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Decreased ability to concentrate and understand information
  • Increase likelihood of making mistakes andhaving accidents
  • Increased clumsiness and slower reaction times
  • A suppressed immune system
  • Undesirable weight gain. 

We may not be able to eliminate all stress from our lives, but we can minimize it. Here are some strategies:

  • Figure out why you aren’t’ getting enough sleep, then commit to changing your routine.  How can you rearrange your schedule to get some things done earlier, allowing for an earlier bedtime.
  • Get thing out of your head and down on paper.  Make a list. Organize your next day’s activities into three categories: “To Call,” “To Buy, “To Do.” Attach a specific time to each activity, and rest assured that you won’t wake up to chaos.
  • Create a bedtime ritual for yourself.  Your routine should include a series of steps that are conducive to relaxation – for example a bath or shower, then perhaps a few minutes of deep breathing.  Read or listen to music as you drink a cup of herbal tea or warm milk. Create a barrier of calm between your jam-packed day and your bedtime.
  • Try not to get into the habit of falling asleep in front of the TV.
  • Do some progressive relaxation techniques.  Relax your body.  When you get into bed, lie flat your back for a few minutes. Tense and relax each muscle group as you work your way up from your toes to your temples.
  • Monitor your breathing by focusing on breathing in and out without any expectation.  This will allow you to relax and not feel tense because you haven’t fell asleep yet.

If you continue to have trouble sleeping it may be a good idea to speak with your doctor.  To rule out any medical reasons, most of which have an easy quick such as sleep apnea.  I now several business owners who burn the midnight oil and wonder why they are not as effective as they would like to be in the morning.  Sleeping is just as important as eating and breathing and sleep deprivation  should not be taken lightly.  Remember feeling energized and ready to go in the morning takes a good night sleep.

 

Filed Under: How Stress effects you, Linda Hampton RN, stress management, Stress Management Tips Tagged With: , , , ,

What To Do When Stress Makes You Feel Rotten

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Image: Woman with face in handsYou might be  tearing your hair out with all the aggravation, grief, anxiety, and of course, frustration.   You may be in at a point and place in your life that you would love to find inner peace but not sure where to start looking.  It’s been so long since you felt at peace with your life.

But I’d like to point out that being proactive is the best way to find peace.

As one stressed-out person to another, I know how it feels, and believe me there are many alternatives when it comes to stress. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You can’t blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons, so much like we have our reasons to allow stress to weigh us down. They say that stress is all in the mind, well, what’s bugging you anyway?

There are several ways to manage stress, and eventually remove it out of your life one of these days.  So I’ll give you seven triggers that if you recognize them when they come I promise you you’ll feel better when deal with them head-on.

1. Accept that stress can be good

Make stress your friend!  Based on the body’s natural “fight or flight” response, that burst of energy will improve your performance at the correct time. I’ve yet to see a top athlete  entirely comfortable before a the big game.  The athlete uses stress to push themselves harder.

2. Dodge stress sneezers

When your stressed your immune system is suppressed and  more susceptible to infection.

Protect yourself by acknowledging your stressed and limit your contact with those with infections until you can get your stress under control.

3. Keep your cool

When everyone around you seems to be going crazy look around and see who’s keeping their cool. How are they acting?  What are they doing differently?  What is their attitude?  Does their body language seem different from others?

Watch them learn from them.  They are the natural stress managers.

4. Be a heavy breather when your stressed

This is something I’ve learned from Anthony Robbins.   You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.

5. Give Negative thoughts the red light

If your ever ruminated and I know you have because everybody does about something that may happen it’s almost always negative.  For example what am I going to do if I fail this test; its not what am I going to do when I ace this test.  It’s what am I going to do if this project is not done on time, it’s not how am I going to celebrate when I get this project done on time.  Without putting the kibosh on those negative thoughts it will cause unnecessary worry.

Stop stressful thoughts in their tracks.  The simplest way to do this is when you get a negative thought say “STOP” to halt that thought in its track.

6. Know your trigger points and hot spots

Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines…. My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down!

Make your very own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only when you get ready to give a presentation to a group that gets you stirred up?   Does one project cause a lot more tension than another?  Is it when you drink 3 cups of coffee instead of one cup?

Understanding what triggers you tension is powerful information.  Do you need to acquire upgrade your skills, optimize your environment or switch to decaf coffee.

7. Burning the candle at both ends

Poor sleeping habits, bad diet, lack of exercise ruins our body and thoughts.  Have you ever heard the saying don’t burn the candle at both ends?  Well pay attention because this is worth listening to.

So being stress can be a drag, but it doesn’t have to keep  us to finding the peace of mind that we have wanted for a long time.

Filed Under: How Stress effects you, Linda Hampton RN, stress free living, stress management, Stress Management Tips Tagged With: , , ,

Is Being A Chronic Over-Achiever Causing Your Stress?

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Super businesswomanIf you suffer from symptoms of stress because you can’t seem to achieve all of the things on your  list you are not alone.  An over-zealous to-do list can be scary if it makes you feel like a failure when the tasks aren’t accomplished no matter how unrealistic it is to get everything done on your list.

Have you ever been called (or called yourself) a “Type A personality?”  The one that leans towards perfectionism you might even feel a surge of pride because the Type A is said to be the most productive, and can work for endless hours, the go getter the most successful personality.  However, what not talked about much is those endless demands cause extreme stress symptoms.

How do you react when you find yourself unable to complete a project?  Is it virtually impossible for you to relax, be calm and sit still?  Does turning your cell phone off drive your up a wall or you can’t spend even one single day without a computer?  Maybe you have an iphone and feel you must stay “connected” at all times.

If you are one of those people who everyone including yourself expects to do whatever it takes to get a project done you’re probably stressed.  The more you expect of yourself the greater your stress becomes.

I find one the biggest errors in judgment is when your schedule is so tight you don’t give yourself enough breaks or enough time between projects to deal with the unexpected events that always happen.  For example if you schedule meetings back to back and have an additional project that is due before the end of the day you can bet your bottom dollar, that your meetings will likely run over the allotted time and that one hour project will take 2 hours, because you simply didn’t give yourself enough time.  Yes in theory the project will take one hour as long as everything goes perfectly and you don’t have any interruptions.  Now how often does that happen? 

Now being an over-achiever is not all bad.  In fact you are likely to get more done then the next next person.  It’s just that you take it too far and this level of dedication and commitment can take its toll out on your body and mind.

One thing that will help you reach your peak without overdoing it is to schedule a few stress-busting activities along with the other tasks on your to-do list.  I use my iphone to schedule these mini-breaks throughout the day.  The breaks will serve as a great reminder to take care of yourself because you are blocking out time to release your stress and keep calm.

Pick out something you enjoy:

  • Close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths,
  • Three minute mini-meditation,
  • Look at a picture of someone you love
  • Take a mini-stroll by walking around the room or to another part of the house or office for 3-5 minutes
  • Focus on one good thing that happened today and write it down in your journal

You might want to start small and let your stress-reducing activities grow.  Once you learn to embrace the  de-stressing activities, it will be easier for you to improve your mental and physical health by ridding your mind and body of stress of throughout the  day.

 

Filed Under: Linda Hampton RN, stress management, Stress Management Tips Tagged With: , ,

Journey Into Creative Thinking

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attractive business woman with a magic wand and hatHow many times have you caught yourself thinking there has to be another way to solve this problem only to come up blank.

How often have you felt frustrated because you knew exactly what the  problem was but had not ideal of how to solve it.  No idea, nada, zip, zero, just can’t come up with the RIGHT solution no matter how hard you try.  Matter of fact, the more you try the further away the solution drifts from your mind.

The number of  possible solution  may be exhausting and too overwhelming to come up with a single answer.  Maybe you feel like you’re walking up the side of a mountain to get to the other side only to find another mountain once you reach the top.  The pressure to find THE ANSWER  puts you in overload.

 

But celebrate! There is hope!

When you get creative you can look at your problems and see them in a different light.  The solution may be right under your nose and you just can’t see it.

First you need to be open minded and allow for the fact there is probably more than one solution to the problem.  That creates an environment to take an unsolvable problem to a solvable solution.   With a positive mindset you can get more creative in solving a problem.

  • Trying writing down all the possible solutions.  Just put everything down on paper.  Even if one of your ideas for a solution is far-fetched. 
  • Don’t restrain your thinking. 
  • Explore funny ideas or even foolish ideas
  • Look at the problems through the eyes of a scientist, or athletic, artist or child
  • Allow yourself to be playful
  • Let go of fears, judgment’s, assumptions, biases or criticisms
  • Visualize to see new opportunities, and think creatively.
  • Define the problem by asking questions
  • Who, how, what, when, where and why.
  • Recall past experiences both good and bad
  • Explore strategies identifying the benefits, drawbacks and obstacles. 

Sometimes you have to venture into uncharted territory to make progress fully knowing problems are an opportunity in disguise.

Here is one example of the creative process at work.

Take a piece of paper and write any word that comes to mind at the center. Now look at that word then write the first two words that come to your mind. This can go on until you can build a tree of related words. This helps you build analogical skills, and fortify your creative processes.

So, next time you see a problem you think you can not solve, think again. The solution might just be staring you right in the face. All it takes is just a little creative thinking, some planning, and a whole lot of work.

Filed Under: Linda Hampton RN, stress management, Stress Management Tips Tagged With: , ,

The Stress Cure – Is Stress Zapping Your Memory?

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Is Stress Zapping Your Memory?What is it about stress that causes us to dwell at length on negative thoughts? The answer has a lot to do with our memory. Although it’s miraculous the brain – a three pound lump of neural tissue can store any memories at all. But the human memory system has some surprising quirks. Most notable, we forget things. The forgotten information is still in our brains somewhere; it’s just that it’s difficult for the brain to put its (metaphorical) hands on any one specific memory when it’s needed. There is so much other competing information there.

To solve this problem the brain often has to rely on memory cues or bits of information related to the thing we’re trying to recall “to jog” our memory. Pretty much anything can serve as a cue, as long as it’s associated somehow with the information we’re looking for.
As it turns out, the brain uses our mood state as it’s single most important memory cue. Believe it or not the brain tags every one of our memories according to the emotional state we’re in when the event occurs. And whenever we’re in the same mood this serves as a powerful retrieval cue.

When you’re sad, for example that despondent mood triggers all sorts of memories from other moments when you were sad or in low spirits. When you experienced a sense of failure, during times of loneliness and rejection all show up and it becomes difficult to remember any specific times in the past when things were going well. If you are in a relationship that break up all you can think about are all the other break-ups in the past you can’t remember the good times that you had with anyone. It becomes a downward spiral of reminiscing.

When you are overwhelmed with stress, you might identify with a decline in your emotional health. Besides being quick tempered and easily agitated your memory may also be affected. Stress is frequently the result of a chaotic schedule, and with too much to do, when stressed it’s not unusual to forget things.

If you are feeling stressed out and “scatterbrained” you need to spend time improving your concentration to relieve overload and overwhelm during times of extreme chaos and tension. When your attentiveness decreases, it’s up to you to regain control.
There are a few ways to increase your mind’s ability to perform during duress. My first choice is to exercise. Exercise helps your brain generate new cells that are linked with the enhancement of memory. Physical exercise increases oxygen to the brain and increases neural firing.

If you feel isolated because you work long hours, or home taking care of your family or you don’t drive or for whatever reason – find new friendships. Make sure you socialize with the friends and family you have. Invite a friend to dinner or out to lunch. If it’s someone you work with don’t talk about work. And if you can’t get out to meet your friends or meet new people develop new friendship with people you meet on-line. There is a whole world out there and a lot of people are lonely and would love to find a new friend. This give the brain a new workout as you adjust to a different conversations in a new environment all while activating or re-activating different senses.

If you have a long drive, consider listening to an audio book. You’ll be surprise how delightful you drive becomes and the traffic becomes much less stressful allowing you to arrive at your destination in a much more relaxed state. You can also break-up the routine of the drive by trying a new route once in a while. If you normally drive on the highway find a route that allows you to drive on a country road.

Stress doesn’t have to cause your memory to decline that is if you don’t allow it to. As long as you give your mind a workout by creating new neural pathway the same way you would build new muscles when you work out your body, you’ll have a healthy memory that allows you to remember the important things during times of stress and anxiety.

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Explosive Danger Of Ignoring Stress

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iStock_000008468808XSmallWhen I was dealing with one of the most stressful periods of my life I never thought about stress.  In fact I didn’t even know I was even stressed.  I thought that what I was dealing with and how I was managing my life was just a part of life and I might as well get use to it.  In fact, if anyone looked at my life they would never know I was under any stress at all.  It was a well hidden secret.  So much so it was a hidden from me too.

I remember recently my son told me something I use to think myself “I work better under stress”  in reality nothing could be further from the truth.  We get things done because we have no choice but what we fail to recognize is the damage stress has on your body.  The truth is no one is completely immune to stress and does affect you in profound ways.

Do you stay busy because you hate feeling bored?  You consider yourself someone who loves life and lives it to its fullest, so you are always on the go, meeting new people doing new things.

Maybe others come to rely on you when they need help to get through a stressful situation in their life because of your positive optimistic attitude.  To the outside world all  seems well.  But if you are paying no attention to the stress in your own life  don’t be too surprised when you explode over some small thing that now seems like too much to handle.

Rather than waiting for stress to explode and totally disrupt your life and business, take time to observe the small disruptions and interruptions  that cause stress for you on a regular basis.  Dealing with problems as they come up will prevent a build-up of stress that can later cause an explosive reaction over something small.

When you hide or ignore the small stressor thinking that as long as I use affirmations and stay upbeat everything will be ok you are actually putting your head in the sand.  You may notice this happening with your life partner.  You ignore something that you find  irritating, for instance, your partner leaves their dirty clothes on the floor.  This may even go on for years.  But one day they leave a dish in the sink and POW you explode in anger but was it really the dish in the sink or the years of being irritated by the clothes left on the floor.

Dealing with stressor as they come along is far more manageable then if you wait until you are in crisis mode.  Commit to dealing with one problem a week.  In one year you would have fixed 52 problems and resolving 52 problems will change your life.

What small problem are you committed to resolving this week? Keep a list in a journal and look back at it in one years time and see how your life has change.

 

Filed Under: How Stress effects you, Linda Hampton RN, stress free living, stress management, stress relief Tagged With: , , ,
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