What To Do When Stress Makes You Feel Rotten

Image: Woman with face in handsYou might be  tearing your hair out with all the aggravation, grief, anxiety, and of course, frustration.   You may be in at a point and place in your life that you would love to find inner peace but not sure where to start looking.  It’s been so long since you felt at peace with your life.

But I’d like to point out that being proactive is the best way to find peace.

As one stressed-out person to another, I know how it feels, and believe me there are many alternatives when it comes to stress. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You can’t blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons, so much like we have our reasons to allow stress to weigh us down. They say that stress is all in the mind, well, what’s bugging you anyway?

There are several ways to manage stress, and eventually remove it out of your life one of these days.  So I’ll give you seven triggers that if you recognize them when they come I promise you you’ll feel better when deal with them head-on.

1. Accept that stress can be good

Make stress your friend!  Based on the body’s natural “fight or flight” response, that burst of energy will improve your performance at the correct time. I’ve yet to see a top athlete  entirely comfortable before a the big game.  The athlete uses stress to push themselves harder.

2. Dodge stress sneezers

When your stressed your immune system is suppressed and  more susceptible to infection.

Protect yourself by acknowledging your stressed and limit your contact with those with infections until you can get your stress under control.

3. Keep your cool

When everyone around you seems to be going crazy look around and see who’s keeping their cool. How are they acting?  What are they doing differently?  What is their attitude?  Does their body language seem different from others?

Watch them learn from them.  They are the natural stress managers.

4. Be a heavy breather when your stressed

This is something I’ve learned from Anthony Robbins.   You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.

5. Give Negative thoughts the red light

If your ever ruminated and I know you have because everybody does about something that may happen it’s almost always negative.  For example what am I going to do if I fail this test; its not what am I going to do when I ace this test.  It’s what am I going to do if this project is not done on time, it’s not how am I going to celebrate when I get this project done on time.  Without putting the kibosh on those negative thoughts it will cause unnecessary worry.

Stop stressful thoughts in their tracks.  The simplest way to do this is when you get a negative thought say “STOP” to halt that thought in its track.

6. Know your trigger points and hot spots

Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines…. My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down!

Make your very own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only when you get ready to give a presentation to a group that gets you stirred up?   Does one project cause a lot more tension than another?  Is it when you drink 3 cups of coffee instead of one cup?

Understanding what triggers you tension is powerful information.  Do you need to acquire upgrade your skills, optimize your environment or switch to decaf coffee.

7. Burning the candle at both ends

Poor sleeping habits, bad diet, lack of exercise ruins our body and thoughts.  Have you ever heard the saying don’t burn the candle at both ends?  Well pay attention because this is worth listening to.

So being stress can be a drag, but it doesn’t have to keep  us to finding the peace of mind that we have wanted for a long time.

Explosive Danger Of Ignoring Stress


iStock_000008468808XSmallWhen I was dealing with one of the most stressful periods of my life I never thought about stress.  In fact I didn’t even know I was even stressed
.  I thought that what I was dealing with and how I was managing my life was just a part of life and I might as well get use to it.  In fact, if anyone looked at my life they would never know I was under any stress at all.  It was a well hidden secret.  So much so it was a hidden from me too.

I remember recently my son told me something I use to think myself “I work better under stress”  in reality nothing could be further from the truth.  We get things done because we have no choice but what we fail to recognize is the damage stress has on your body.  The truth is no one is completely immune to stress and does affect you in profound ways.

Do you stay busy because you hate feeling bored?  You consider yourself someone who loves life and lives it to its fullest, so you are always on the go, meeting new people doing new things.

Maybe others come to rely on you when they need help to get through a stressful situation in their life because of your positive optimistic attitude.  To the outside world all  seems well.  But if you are paying no attention to the stress in your own life  don’t be too surprised when you explode over some small thing that now seems like too much to handle.

Rather than waiting for stress to explode and totally disrupt your life and business, take time to observe the small disruptions and interruptions  that cause stress for you on a regular basis.  Dealing with problems as they come up will prevent a build-up of stress that can later cause an explosive reaction over something small.

When you hide or ignore the small stressor thinking that as long as I use affirmations and stay upbeat everything will be ok you are actually putting your head in the sand.  You may notice this happening with your life partner.  You ignore something that you find  irritating, for instance, your partner leaves their dirty clothes on the floor.  This may even go on for years.  But one day they leave a dish in the sink and POW you explode in anger but was it really the dish in the sink or the years of being irritated by the clothes left on the floor.

Dealing with stressor as they come along is far more manageable then if you wait until you are in crisis mode.  Commit to dealing with one problem a week.  In one year you would have fixed 52 problems and resolving 52 problems will change your life.

What small problem are you committed to resolving this week? Keep a list in a journal and look back at it in one years time and see how your life has change.

 

You’re A Real Fathead… and So Am I

121129_omega-3Fat is a fearsome word to most people.  For decades nutritionists and medical professionals have warned us that fats are bad for us.  They raise our cholesterol, clog our arteries and tend to make us…. well fat.  But if you take this at face value then you will avoid fat like the plague.  But that’s just plain wrong.

We need fats.  We’d be dead without them.  They’re critical to the well being of every cell in our bodies, and they’re critical building blocks for the construction of every neuron in our brains.

Did you know your brain is mostly made up of fat?

It sounds like a straight line from a stand-up comedy routine  but it’s true.  The human is about 60% fat by dry weigh.  Fat molecules (sometimes called fatty acids) play a critical role in the construction of brain cells and the insulation of nerve fibers.

But all fats are not created equal.  The essential dietary fats come in tow versions - Omega-3 and omega-6.  They play a complementary roles in the brain and the rest of the body.  When all goes well, omega-3 and omega-6 work in harmony to keep us firing on all cylinders.  But when our dietary fats fall out of balance, we become vulnerable to many forms of illness.  Depression is one of the most common.

According to studies, hour hunter-gather ancestors maintained a superb balance of omega-6s and omega-3s in their diets, usual in a 1:1 ratio.   The typical American, on the other hand, has a radically imbalanced fat intake heavily slated in favor of omega-6s.  The ration in the modern American diet now stands at a staggering 16:1 ratio.

Fortunately, the body is able to make many of the fat molecules the brain needs.  But their are some forms that the body can’t manufacture on its own, these fats can be obtain only form our diet.  And among the most important dietary  fats is a group called omega-3 fatty acids- critical building blocks for brain structure an function.

Omega-3 fatty acids are found mainly  in fish, wild game, nuts, seeds and leafy vegetable, all thing found in abundance.  Our distance ancestors ate five to ten times more omega-3 fat than we do today.  In fact, omega-3s have gradually disappeared from the American diet over the past century.

In the past our great-grandparents, for example, ate beef cattle that were free range, where the cattle ate grasses and wild plants sources of omega-3.  Remarkably beef used to be good for us.  Today’s cattle in contract are mostly grain-fed, and have little beneficial omega-3

Omega-3 fats are made in the leaves of plants, grasses, and algae.  Any animal that eats one of these omega-3 plant sources quickly absorbs the essential fats directly into its own body.  So, for example we find high levels of omega-3 fats in wild game, which feed on grasses.  and many species of wild fish that fee on algae.

Omega-6s fats on the other hand, are usually concentrated in plant seeds.  These fats are also abundant in nuts and grains.   One of the biggest changes involved the shift form leaves to seed in the diet of livestock.

To restore your dietary balance of omega-6 and omega-3 fats, there are really only two major possibilities to consider.  You can either

  • Increase your intake of omega-3s 
  • Decrease your intake of omega-6s

You can do this by:

  • Switiching to grass-feed beef or simply drop beef from your diet
  • Stick mostly with lean meats like chicken breast and fish
  • Cook with olive oil, or coconut oil
  • Use butter instead of margine
  • supplement with a good omega-3 supplement.

So now that you know that it’s good to be a fathead.  What are you going to do to add omega-3s to your diet and decrease your intake of omega 6s.

 

 

 

 

Eliminate Time Clutter – Create A Not To Do List

MH900104872 If you’re busy and overwhelmed like most people you’ll likely have some sort of to-do list going. It could be in the form of a notebook, a computer, mobile device or even heaven forbid a piece of paper. But some days looking at the list just makes me feel crazy. There is so many things to do that sometimes I get the feeling the list has “legs” of its own like a centipede.

In others words the list seems to keep growing and growing without my help. In my experience at some point the list becomes an alligator…one that bites.

So how do you get control of your to-do list?

How about creating a not to do list instead? Because we’ve either heard and use these terms so often a great deal of our thinking comes from, No I won’t, don’t know how, cant get it done, part of our brain. I sometimes use this same concept with my list. Here’s how it goes.

Take this article for instance. Most people would write on their to-do list get an article written by a specific date. Instead I might put on my not to-do list something like:

Not to waste time doing things that is not going to be of value to my clients. That forces me to focus on what I need to do first which is to add value. Because quite frankly, saying to myself write an article is not always an effective motivating factor for me. But when I think about giving value that can have an affect that motivates me to take appropriate action. In this case the action I take will provide the most value for my clients.

Let me give you another example. Maybe I need to clean the bathroom and let’s face, it that’s one of my least favorite jobs (maybe it’s your least favorite too). I change that thought to “not to have my bathroom unprepared for company.”

Here’s the deal. Our mind if a funny thing. It’s so use to the negative, it can be difficult to continuously focus on something positive. In fact, it would take an extraordinary the effort to focus on something positive all the time. And this of course causes stress

So here are some ideas of what to put on your not-to-do list:

  • I am not going to get distracted from the most important thing I can do today (whatever that thing is). If I think about not getting distracted that automatically makes me think about the things I need to focus on.
  • I am Not going to get confuse and buy into the idea that activity equals productivity. Instead do something that you know will move you closer toward your goals
  • I won’t going to attend events including teleseminars or teleclasses that I not willing to take the actions directed by the trainer. Instead carefully select the events you plan to attend.
  • I won’t confuse eating fewer meals with losing weight. Instead accept it’s all about the actual food choices you make when you eat.
  • I won’t look at and respond to each email when it arrives. Instead select a time of day such at 9 am 12 noon and 4:30 pm and spend only 15 – 30 minutes reviewing and responding to email.
  • I am not going to work through lunch. Instead plan your lunch and take a break away from your work.
  • I can’t work non-stop for hours on end without a breather. Instead I use a 30 minute hour glass to time my activities, then I take a break. One quick stress busting activity is to simply take a deep breath. When your body is under stress, breathing becomes shallow. You might even notice you hold your breath. Taking a deep breath releases tension instantly. Oxygen immediately starts to flow to the cells. Energy is free to move throughout your body. Taking a deep breath after 30 minutes of deep focused work just might make you work a little bit smarter.
  • I am not going to give up on my goal even when I feel tired. Instead remember why you had the goal in the first place.

This simple way of thinking helps you stop and think about what you’re doing that might be getting in the way of reaching your objectives. It also relieves you of the constant burden of trying to think positive all the time.

So what are you going to put on your not to do list?

Identifying What Kind of Stress Do Your Struggling with?

struggleWhen you feel overwhelmed and with your back is against the wall, is frustration the way you respond to a difficult situation?  Before you let it upset you, take some time to think of what type of stress you’re feeling.

There are 2 kinds of tension that psychologists call Eustress and Distress. These are different sides of the exact same coin. One, eustress, is really useful and helps you reach your goals while the other, distress, is hazardous to your mind, body and spirit.

Eustress is a nervous feeling that’s even more similar to anticipation rather fear and apprehension. You may experience eustress before giving a presentation at work, prior to going on a job interview or when preparing a gourmet meal from a recipe you’ve never ever attempted prior to.

In eustress, you’re coping with skepticism – but the result isn’t really disastrous at least that’s how you think about it in your own mind. Eustress is the proper name for a guy’s shaking hands as he whips out  the engagement ring and the bride’s pre-wedding butterflies as she gets ready to walk down the church aisle before all her friends and family.

Both of these are “positive” tension because they stand for taking an action into the unknown to  and anticipating positive result. Worry, on the other hand, is anxiety, concern, aggravation and an overcoming feeling of dread.

If you’re a business owner it comes from feeling incapable of having a positive result from your action because of the fear of the unknown.  In my own personal experience and training for instance  nursing burnout has long been known as an effect of working long hours in a demanding critical environment. Continual exposure to these demanding scenarios long enough will result in distress.

There’s nothing useful about this type of stress and tension. It’s the precursor to cardiac disease, emotional breakdowns. If you’re one of those people who say “I work better under pressure” I bet you haven’t asked your immune system just how it feels.

Living under chronic long term stress for long periods of time is weakening to your immune system. Have you ever  noticed how you’re more likely to grab the workplace cold when you’re overworked as compared to when you aren’t?

Writing down your issues helps you to see them for what they really are so you can let them go. By writing out your deepest thoughts and feelings, you’re also releasing the tension and stress from within you.

  1.  What’s bothering you most today
  2. How do you know when you’re feeling stressed
  3. Why am I feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed or worried about this issue?
  4. Am I thinking about the problem or am I focused on a solution?
  5. How do I define a healthy, happy and lasting resolution to this stress?
  6. Who can I turn to for help?
  7. What will I do, today, to find a better way?

By seeing your stress patterns, you could craft approaches to convert either your involvement with stress or your response to it. Is what you’re feeling really harmful distress or eustress?

If it’s really eustress, then you can instead of saying, “I’m so stressed out over the celebration” to, “I’m so excited about this party!” It’s remarkable exactly how your mind responds to different types of stress.  And if what you’re feeling is stress then what techniques can you use to reduce or even eliminate the stressors.

Getting To The Heart Of Stress

heartFor thousands of years, many believed that stress could make you sick.  But until science supported this fact there was little done about stress in the area of medicine.  To tell the truth there is still very little done about stress even today in the western medicine except for maybe prescribing a pill.

The truth is many approaches like meditation, prayer, music, sleep, yoga.. and the list goes I know in my heart really work to maintain health.

Heart disease is the number-one cause of death in the United States and many other countries in the world.  One of the most devastating results of long-term chronic stress may turn out to be its like to heart disease.  This fact is not surprising because stress can increase your blood pressure, constrict your blood vessels  raise your cholesterol lever, trigger arrhythmias, and speeds up the rate at which your blood clots.

Stress is now considered a major risk factor in heart disease, right up there with smoking, being overweight, and lack of exercise.

Today there is convincing evidence that stress and emotions such as hostility and anger play a significant role in the development of heart disease.  In the 1950′s researcher Robert Shekelle found that high hostility was a significant predictor of increased risk of heart disease.

In one study conducted by Redford Williams, found that individuals with high hostility scores had the most coronary blockage.  In fact, over 70 percent of the subjects in his study with high hostility scores had severe blockages.

Now that you know how stress can effect you heart it’s time for a bit of Instant ahhhh.. 

When you are triggered by stress, anger and hostility, you need a way to induce relaxation instantly.  You need a cue, like the command “Relax,” in order to reduce your anxiety as quickly as possible.  Get comfortable in a seated position. Take a deep breath and hold it for an extra moment.  When you release this breath, focus on blowing your worries far away   Let go of any excess tension still in your body.  Continue to breathe in and out deeply and rhythmically, saying to yourself silently.  ”breath in”  on the inhale and “breath out longer”  on  the exhale.  Follow this repetition for five minutes.

With each breath peace, and calm comes in and tension and stress moves out.

What do you do to get instant ahhhh?

Letting Go Of Tension And Anger- The Body Scan

AttitudeI almost never get angry.  It’s an emotion I rarely experience – except when I am driving.  I can feel the tension and anger building up when I see what I felt were unconsidered drivers.  You know the ones…the drivers who almost run you off the road to pass or the ones in the fast lane who are “Driving Miss Daisy” and no matter the traffic they refuse to get over to let you pass.

Then one day I came across this quote from Buddha

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else…you are the one who will get burned”

What insight when I’m angry I’m the one who suffers.  Why should I let someone I’m never going to see again control they way I feel.

Dr Wayne Dyer describes some common circumstances in which people select anger as the main emotions of the moment

  • Anger is automobile.  While driving, we get upset at how we believe other people ought to be driving.
  • Anger over loss of objects.  NO amount of anger will turn up a lost key or a wallet.
  • Anger in competitive games.  In every sport, we find people getting upset at opponents, teammates, referees and even themselves.
  • Anger at those things that seem out of place.  We have thoughts that things ought to be in certain places, and when they aren’t, we lose control. An example is the driver who believes the bicyclist should not be on the road and crowds him off the road.

As with all emotions, the feeling of anger comes from how we are thinking.  Anger is a reaction we have when expectancy is not met.  Anger happens when we wish some aspect of the world, or somebody in it were different than it it.

One of the best ways to discover how to recognize the tension in your body caused by anger is a simple 1-minute scanning exercise.

Find a place where you can sit or lay down comfortably  and be undisturbed for a moment or two.  Scan your body for any muscle tension.  Start with the top of your head and work your way down to your toes.  Ask yourself.

  • Am I furrowing my brow?
  • Am I clinching my jaw?
  • Am I hunching my shoulders?
  • Am I feeling tension in my arms?
  • Am I feeling tightness in my though and calf muscles?
  • Do I notice any discomfort anywhere else i my body?

With a little practice you can scan your body in less than a minute.

Try the body scan and let me know how it goes…