Mindset Mastery – Building Self Confidence

Whether you’re at work or just facing a bad day at home, there are many things you can do to make sure you’re back in the saddle and feeling more confident about life. One of the best ways to regain your self-confidence is to give yourself a little pep talk.

The idea of positive self-talk, or positive thinking, is something many coaches and counselors suggest to their clients and nearly everyone can benefit from it. Have you ever been in a situation where you think a little bit of positive reinforcement could make things a lot easier? Don’t wait for someone else to lift your spirits; take a moment and realize you can easily do it yourself!

Be Proactive and Gain Confidence

Having negative thoughts, even about a single project at work, can often impact your entire outlook on life. You may begin to believe that you’re in a trap of bad luck or that things will never get better, but in reality, the only way for things to get better is to make positive changes and that takes both action and self-confidence.

• When faced with a difficult situation that leaves negative feelings, step away for a few minutes and take some deep breaths. Think about a resolution to the problem, come up with a smart action plan, then return to propose your plan. Removing yourself from the situation will help minimize those negative feelings while allowing you to gain some perspective.

For more tips on mindset mastery and client attraction tips check out The Client Attraction Mentor

Spending time on YOU is critical!

Do you push yourself to be all that you can be? In your drive for excellence, you may take on so many projects that life often seems chaotic. In the midst of doing it all, do you remember to take time for yourself?

Spending time on YOU is critical! It enables you to feel rested, calm, stress-free, and fulfilled. When you’ve had proper rest, you can accomplish more and maintain the stamina to continue.

On the other hand, if you neglect to make time for yourself, you’re more likely to become depressed, stressed, or unhappy.

Perhaps you feel that there’s just not enough time for you. Somewhere in the mix, you lost any time you ever had for yourself. However, the good news is that, with some creativity and perseverance, you can recapture some of that critical you-time!

Consider using these strategies to reap some rejuvenating time for yourself:

1. Pencil yourself in. Make time for yourself by adding it as a priority in your schedule. As you fill out your planner, include it along with your other important tasks and stick to the appointment!

2. Give yourself 15 minutes when you get home. Insist on at least 15 minutes of recoup and rejuvenation time when you get home from work. If you have to lock yourself away from stressors or even family members, than that’s what you must do! This time allows you to properly transition from your work life to your home life.

• Explain this new technique to your family so that they understand its importance. This way, no one feels like you’re just avoiding them!

• A simple strategy is to soak in the bath for 15 minutes. The water will relax you, and you’ll feel refreshed after a long day.

3. Take advantage of your lunch break. Your lunch break is there for you to do what you please. After you eat, make good use of your time by going for a walk, exercising, listening to inspiring music, or even get in a bit of shopping if that’s what relaxes you.

4. Enjoy a break while the kids nap. Here’s a good tip for stay at home moms. Give yourself some much needed “you” time whenever your children sleep. You might be tempted to get as much work done as you can while they’re asleep, but you’ll find you actually get more done if you give yourself a chance to rest and rejuvenate yourself.

• Explore new ways of accomplishing things like household tasks while your kids are up. For example, turn chores into learning games that you can all participate in.

5. Go to sleep earlier. Going to sleep earlier at night will enable you to get up in time to enjoy some morning “me” time. Just think how pleasant it would be to enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning without having to look at your watch.

6. Take a vacation day. Take a vacation day to just relax and do whatever you like. You don’t have to take a trip to take a vacation! Time spent on your favorite hobbies will also rejuvenate you. When you return to work, your renewed energy may surprise you!

At first glance, these strategies may look difficult to implement into your busy routine. A good way to get started with them is to incorporate just one at a time. That way, you only have to adjust to one small change. As you become accustomed to that one strategy, you can add another, and then another, until one day you’ll find that making time for yourself is easy.

Once you learn to make time for you, you’ll have more energy and time to enjoy the good things life has to offer.

How to Let Bygones Be Bygones

Deep down you know that there is simply nothing you can do to change the past. No matter how many times you wish you’d done something differently, the past will always remain the past.

You must find a way to, once and for all, be done with your regretful feelings. When you continue to fret over the past, you allow negative feelings to consume more and more of your life. Once you’ve put a stop to it, you can think positively again and your future will be brighter.

Getting Caught Up In The Past

It’s easy to get caught up in the past. Nobody’s perfect and, no matter how hard you try, you’ll still continue to make mistakes. It’s how you handle the mistakes that will make the true difference in your life.

If you’ve made a mistake or suffered a tragedy in the recent past, don’t allow the tragedy to replay in your head over and over. You’ll continue to relive the negative feels as if you were continually going through the tragedy. No one deserves this! Instead, you have two choices, you can actively work on correcting your mistake, or you can let the feelings go because they’re not helpful to you in that moment.

Learn From Your Mistakes

There are lessons to be learned in every mistake you make no matter how minor it might be. The goal is to work on discovering what these lessons are.

When negative feelings surround you regarding your past, focus on the lesson learned. Maybe you would have never learned that lesson without the mistake. And now that you’ve gained this wisdom you can avoid making that mistake again in the future.

You can take everything one step further and do more with the lessons you’ve learned. Perhaps you can raise awareness by telling others about your experience. If you can help others avoid the same mistakes, you’ll be doing something great for the world. It’ll also help you feel better about the situation.

Avoid Resentmen 

You need to do your best to avoid resentment and all negative emotions. Resentment is a poisonous emotion that can go out of control if you don’t deal with it. You’ve probably heard of people who have had a falling out with a family member and resentment keeps them apart for the better part of their lives. Think about all the good times they’ve missed out on because of this bitterness!

Let It Go

Depending on what you’ve gone through, there may be a mourning period associated with your situation, but you’ll eventually need to let it go. Since you know that nothing can change the past, letting go can prove to be very liberating.

When you let it all go, you learn to forgive yourself and forgive others. Forgiveness is such an important thing to promote in your life. It allows you to grow as a person and blossom forward to enjoy all that life has to offer. You weren’t meant to sit around mourning the past no matter how tragic it’s been for you.

How Negative Thinking Hurts You

When it comes down to it, sometimes you keep telling yourself you’re over it but the negative thinking keeps creeping back into your life. You need to fully realize that the only person you’re hurting is yourself.

Let’s say you’ve hurt someone’s feelings. You may think about this day and night until you can’t take it anymore, and you have to seek this person out to apologize. The person might not even remember what happened, or they may just accept your apology. The point is you suffered with negative thoughts until you sought forgiveness.

There’s no need to cause yourself severe suffering because you made a mistake, instead seek peace and resolution, then move forward with your head held high!

Surviving the Holiday Crunch With Stress Free Living

Don’t be surprised or feel guilty if your holiday is stressful — and don’t entertain the fantasy that everyone else’s season is picture-perfect. Some moments will be memorable, some will not, and some you’ll want to forget, but remember: We’re all in this together!

The holidays are supposed to be a wonderful time for you and your family, though sometimes the stresses leading up the holidays make it seem like quite the opposite. Remember that even in poor economic times there are ways to enjoy yourself and survive the holiday crunch.

Spending Money

Chances are you’ll be spending at least some money during the holiday season. With careful planning, you can make a small budget go quite a long way.

Consider the following holiday money saving tips:

Save Throughout the Year. Most people let the holidays creep up on them. All of a sudden they realize it’s two weeks before Thanksgiving and they need to begin preparing. You can’t pull money out of nowhere and you should resist the urge to put all of your purchases on credit. If you’ve done this in the past, you know first hand that you’ll still be paying off last year’s gifts for years to come!

• Automatically withdraw a small amount of money from each paycheck that goes toward your Christmas savings. Those small amounts add up to something big at the end of the year.

Shop Early. When you shop early you can avoid the stress of the crowds and the urgency of having to make decisions quickly. Start by making a list of gift ideas for everyone. This way, as you see the items throughout the year, you can pick them up. You may even find that they’re cheaper during off-peak times than during the holiday rush.

 Handmade Gifts. If money is extra tight this year, consider giving your loved ones handmade gifts. Handmade gifts are given straight from the heart. They’ll provide memories that last a lifetime and are important reminders that the holiday season is not just about spending money.

Shop for Deals. While it can end up taking a great deal of extra time, make sure you do your homework when it comes to shopping for deals. Prices can vary greatly from vendor to vendor. Luckily, the internet can be your best friend when it comes to shopping for deals. It allows you to comparison shop quickly and easily from the comfort of your own home.

 While you’re shopping online, always remember to stay safe. If you haven’t heard of the website you’re purchasing from, make sure that you’re shopping on a secure server and do additional research into the company to seek out reviews and opinions.

Planning Your Budget

Whether or not you’ve saved throughout the year, it’s always a good idea to put yourself on a strict budget. Give yourself a total dollar amount and then decide how much you’ll spend on each person. If you need money for entertaining, decorating, food, or other things, budget for that as well.

Remember to check in with yourself from time to time to make sure that you remain on budget. While it may be extra work, it’ll save you the stress of dealing with big credit card bills in the new year.

Dealing With Stress

If the stress of the holidays has gotten you down, you’re certainly not alone. It’s not fun to have to deal with the financial aspect, but it’ll help to keep the reward in mind.

If you’ve spent your money well, and your family gets through the holidays in a peaceful manner, then you’ve done your job. You’ll be adding to the memories that will last a lifetime. Remember that you can’t place a price tag on memories. When you keep that positive goal in mind, it’ll be worth the stresses you have to endure.

Stress Free Living by Being a Better Communicator

Communication is the key when it comes to anything that involves collaboration. We humans are a social species, communication is involved in nearly everything we all do.

 Some people are born with the natural ability to communicate well, while others may struggle with it. No matter what category you fall into, it’s likely that you can benefit from paying attention to improving your communication skills.

 Why Better Communication Helps You

 Did you know that most businesses consider your communication skills to be the most important characteristic about you? This means that you could have top-notch knowledge and job skills but still fail to land a job if you’re lacking in the communication department.

Communication is certainly not only important when it comes to your work life, but it’s also vital in having a successful home life as well. Couples and family members that are good communicators lead happier lives overall.

Proper communication will prevent misunderstandings and save you time so you won’t have to go back and explain yourself again and again. You know you’ve gained good communication skills when you can communicate your thoughts effectively with as few words as necessary!

 How To Improve Communication With Others

Communication is a two way street. This means that you could have excellent skills, but if the recipient is lacking, then you may not be understood. This is why it’s important not only to develop our speaking skills, but our listening skills, too.

Since you can’t affect the skill level of others, the only thing you can do is strengthen your own communication skills. Besides, when you’re an excellent communicator, more people will understand you, everything around you will run more efficiently, and you’ll more often get what you want!

 Try these strategies to improve your communication skills:

 1.  Avoid arguing. If you run into a snag in a conversation and it starts to morph into an argument, step back and realize what’s going on. It’s easy to get swept up into the blame game, but ultimately it’s not important who’s at fault. What’s important is the mutual understanding of the issue at hand and a desire for a solution that benefits everyone.

 2.  Don’t be afraid to compromise. You may be tempted to try and “win” but that’s not the best way to reach a mutual agreement. You may be happier with getting your way, but it may come at the expense of the other person, which can cause further issues. Find a good compromise that you both can willingly accept.

 3.  Work on listening. Your listening skills are even more important than your speaking skills. After all, how will you know what you should say – and when – if you haven’t effectively listened? Listen more than you speak and you’ll gain a profound wisdom of others, too!

 4.  Keep your focus. Communication will get overly complicated if you worry about too many issues at once. Avoid bringing up the past or other issues and, instead, focus on the one topic at hand.

5.  Stay calm and take responsibility. Adopt a calm and cool manner of handling situations. When things remain low key, it’s easier to communicate and get your point across. This also means that you need to take responsibility for what you say. Don’t be afraid to admit mistakes when you’re wrong.

Becoming a better communicator doesn’t happen overnight. But if you keep practicing and tweaking your skills, you’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish.

How to Make Your To-Do List More Effective

You already know that to-do lists help you get focused and organized throughout the day. When you have your to-do list in hand, you’re freeing your mind from all the disorganized thoughts and, instead, getting them down on paper.

 However, this technique can go awry if your to-do list isn’t organized as well as it should be. You might lose your motivation and drive and, at the end of the day, you may notice that most of the things from your list are not crossed off.

 Follow these tips to create an effective to-do list:

1.  Clarify Priorities. It may help you to develop some sort of ranking system for your to-do list. Certainly every item on the list can’t be equally important. You can even use a number system and rank them from 1 to 5. Items ranked 1 might have a lower priority, while the 5s are tasks you should attend to first.

• You should also clarify your priorities in the sense that you need to leave yourself detailed instructions. Figure out the: who, what, where, when and why of items that may be complicated. This way, when it comes time to tackle the task, you won’t skip over them simply because they seem too complex to complete.

 2.  Pare Down the List. You need to complete tasks or part of tasks one step at a time. If you have 15 minutes to spare, find something on the list that you can complete in that time period. It’s common to tell yourself that 15 minutes is not enough time to do something, but all those 15-minute chunks add up to something huge. At the end of the day you’ll be surprised how much you’ve accomplished in small increments.

3.   Include Flex Time. If your to-do list is too rigid, it simply won’t be effective. You absolutely need to include some flexibility and breathing room in your day. Try not to jam pack your day with unreasonable goals, otherwise, you’ll be at risk of disappointment.

4.  Add in Something Fun. Your to-do list is no doubt full of things you may not be looking forward. That’s why integrating fun activities and tasks should also be a priority! When you add in a fun item it doesn’t feel like work. It may even feel like a break. When you return to the less desirable items, you’ll be more motivated to actually get them done.

5.  Don’t List Too Much. It’s vital not to overwhelm yourself. While some days might be action packed in order to reach certain deadlines, you need to avoid this level of stress on a regular basis. If there’s too much on your plate, or you have to work too fast, you can’t possibly enjoy yourself and you’ll only end up frustrated and overwhelmed.

 6.  Keep It Organized. Your list needs to be organized in a way that makes you feel comfortable. There are many options nowadays, especially with digital devices. However, the old-fashioned pen and paper method may be what works best for you. You can also opt for using the internet or even your cell phone or mobile device to keep your list organized.

Stress Free Living With Nature’s Stress Therapists Are Right Outside Your Window

In the average home, the windows are hard to open because they’re rarely opened. With air conditioning in the summer and heat in the winter, windows almost seem like a useless accessory now. 

That’s sad, because there are excellent therapists just outside your window waiting to help alleviate the stress that’s overcome you.  For less than ten dollars, you can get a bird feeder to place outside your home or office window.

Spend a few bucks a week on birdseed and you’ll be rewarded with a variety of birds stopping by for breakfast each morning. If you add more seed in the afternoon, you’ll draw the early dinner crowd.

After awhile, you’ll be able to identify the birds by their unique songs. Even though these little birds work hard every day just to find food, water and safe shelter, they never fail to sing as if they didn’t have a care in the world. As you listen to their songs, you begin to feel remarkably less stressed.

If you plant the right kind of flowers outside your window or bring in container plants, you’ll become a favorite attraction for butterflies. They don’t make any noise so you have be alert to see them. Pay attention to their delicately colorful wings fluttering around outside your window. If you remember biology class, those butterflies live only a few days but they make the most of every moment. As you watch them, think what you would do if you only had a few days left in your life? What prevents you from doing those things now?

 Nature’s play therapists are the squirrels. They hop from branch to branch in the tree with reckless abandon. If they fall, they shake and get back up again. It seems that squirrels just want to have fun, but they have a serious side too. Squirrels put away food first, but still find time to play. There’s a lesson for you. Get the work done but schedule time for your enjoyment also. Have you ever seen a depressed squirrel? Maybe it because they have actually mastered the work-life balance that we all talk about.

 So pull back those curtains, get some window cleaner and rearrange your chair to take advantage of nature’s therapists outside your window.

Live Stress Free With The Power of Failure

Now this might sound a little strange to you but what exactly do you think about when you hear the word failure? You probably are thinking that you’re not good enough and or maybe that you should give up. One definition is the lack of success

While failure can involve those thoughts and emotions,  failure can also make us stronger or wiser.

A simple definition of failure is: An act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success.

When I think of this definition of failure, I’m reminded of Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb. While there are many conflicting stories of how many times Edison “failed” at inventing the electric light bulb, most agree it was in the thousands before he found the right combination of materials.

One of Edison’s most famous quotes is, “I have not failed.  I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”

If you adopt this same attitude, you’ll overcome your feelings of failure and be able to see your dreams and desires come to fruition.

Robert Schuller stated these famous words, “Failure doesn’t mean you’re a failure; it just means you haven’t succeeded yet.”

Henry Ford said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”

When you consider those words from these wise and successful people, you’ll truly begin to understand the power of failure.

The truth is, you only fail when you give up! When you keep trying until you’ve found the answer or the solution, you’re successful.

You’d never say Thomas Edison, Robert Schuller or Henry Ford were failures would you? Sure, they were unsuccessful many, many times, but they didn’t give up until they found the answer, the right procedure or the right materials to solve their dilemma.

In case those quotes weren’t enough to make you believe failure has a positive power and strength, here are some more you might relate to:

“Failure is an event, never a person.” – William D. Brown

The next time you try your hand at something and don’t achieve the desired result immediately, remember failure is an event;  it’s not you.

Bill Cosby also said it well when he said, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

If you’re trying to please everyone, you can’t possibly succeed!

“Never confuse a single defeat with final defeat.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

“You can’t have any successes until you can accept failures.” – George Cukor

Just because you’ve failed once, twice or 10,000 times at something, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You only fail when you stop trying.

Still not convinced? How about this:

“You always pass failure on your way to success.” – Mickey Rooney

What do these words mean to you? No matter what you’re trying to succeed at, whether it’s a sport, project, career, invention, or at school, there will be times when you don’t succeed. But you mustn’t let that stop you from reaching your goals, dreams, and desires.

The common thread among all these famous people and their wise words is the same. You can’t have success without failure. Never give up and never stop trying. There is power in failure, you just have to give yourself a chance.

Keep trying, keep failing and soon you’ll find true success!

Reflection – As I Let Go Of Perfectionism, I Feel The Burden Lifted From My Shoulders

As I let go of perfectionism,  I   feel  a heavy burden lifted  from my shoulders.

I release the thought  that I must do everything  without a single error or misstep. No one  is perfect and  striving to be superhuman only  brings stress and  disappointment. As the thought dissipates,  so, too, do the pressure  and stress I had put upon  myself.

I can do an excellent job in my work without requiring that every project be absolutely  perfect. When I think about it, I realize that any project, no matter how good, can always be improved  upon  in some way. So the pursuit of perfection  is insatiable.

I can receive wonderful  results in other areas of my life without having to be perfect.

Spending  time with my spouse  and children brings all of us joy. I do  not have to be perfect to love  and  be loved. My family members  do not have to be perfect for me to love them. We love each other because  of who we are, faults and all.

Wouldn’t life be boring if everyone  were perfect? Our unique  qualities bring variety and excitement to life. In the same way, wouldn’t I be boring if I were perfect? I see now that being imperfect is more
than just fine. It is very good!

Striving to be flawless is counterproductive to living  a fulfilling life. Why spend  time working toward an impossible  goal when I could be using that same time to achieve goals that are real?

Rather than adding to my stress with impossible  goals, I choose  to fill my life with gratitude,  peace,  and happiness.

Today, I choose  to be imperfect! I set achievable  goals that I know I can accomplish  and I feel great about them. I feel free to accomplish  my goals now that the burden  of perfectionism has been lifted.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Do I require  perfectionism from others or myself? Why?
2. Do I feel I deserve  to be loved, even though  I’m imperfect?
3. What are my goals today? Can I achieve them without being perfect?

Stress Free Living – Organizational Skills for the Unorganized

It’s difficult if not impossible to live stress free if your not organized.  Some people lack organization skills in  only a few areas of their life while others are unganized in almost every aspect.    Sifting through the chaos could seem like an insurmountable task, but it doesn’t have to be this way!

The key is to evaluate your situation and make small steps toward an organized life. Don’t try to change all at once or you could end up just adding to the chaos.

Here are some tips and tricks to follow in order to get organized:

1. Have a Place for Everything. There are certain items that you use nearly every day. Make sure that these items have a permanent place in your home. Put your keys on a key holder near the door or your wallet in your desk draw. When your things are put away in their proper place, you’re not only organized, but you’ll save time as well.

2. Make a List. When you have tasks to complete, make a list of everything you need to do in order to reach completion. Writing it down will help you to visualize what needs to get done. Lists also insure that you don’t forget to do anything.

•  You can also separate your lists into long-term and short-term categories. The short-term list might be items you need to complete today, while the long-term sheet is your monthly or yearly goals.

3. Start Small. If there are many aspects of your life that you’re trying to get organized, start with the small pieces first. For instance, if your home is unorganized, start with one room – like the kitchen. Give yourself a timeline to complete kitchen organization, and then expand yourself to other rooms once you complete that task.

4. Find a System That Works And Stick To It. There are many different organizational methods that you can choose to implement, but the most important element is to use it consistently. Make sure you understand it and follow through.

•  For example, there are different ways you can organize your bookshelf. You can order all books by author. You can order all books by topic. You can order by topic and author. Once you choose a system, all you need to worry about is following through.

5. Get Rid of Clutter. If you find your life is full of clutter, it’s time to get rid of the junk. Maybe it’s time to finally go through all the stacked boxes in your garage to make more room. When you’re going through your clutter, decide immediately whether or not you’ve used the item in the past couple years. If you haven’t, consider selling it or giving it away to charity.

•  Always remember that your first instincts are often right. If your first instinct is to get rid of something, don’t over think it. You could end up keeping something that sticks around for another couple years, unused!

6. Sort Your Mail. This is a simple one that can help you greatly. Your mail can stack up fast. As soon as you get it, sort it. Throw out the junk mail and shred the documents you don’t need that might contain personal information. Take care of your bills right away, so you don’t have to worry about it later.

7. Go Paperless. In this digital age, it’s popular to cut out the paper to save yourself some organizational headaches and save the environment. When companies bill you, there is usually an option to go paperless. Use this option and start managing your billing statements online.

Don’t Get Overwhelmed

Of course there are many things you can do to get yourself organized. Try to make a positive step forward each day even if it’s something small. You’ll soon find that your life is becoming more manageable and you’ll feel a great deal of satisfaction!

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