Performing selfless acts is noble, but it takes a toll we may not be aware of. There is nothing wrong with being selfish. While everyone seems to be concentrating on themselves, you are focusing on them.  The first step to a balanced life is to think about you and your needs. If you fall apart, you won’t be of any use to anyone.  Selfishness is not defined by an inability to help others; it is the means by which you regenerate yourself by focusing on your own needs.  Simple ordinary pleasures can make a world of difference in your life such as: a manicure, a day out with friends; a new outfit.

You’re mental and emotional state has more to do with the balance within than you realize.  Worry drains us; yet we can’t seem to control it.  We tolerate many things which essentially drain our energy, leaving us feeling empty and void of feeling. Sleepless nights ensue, and the cycle begins all over again the next day. Confront the problems head on; let the water out of the tank before it bursts open. Worry about the things you can control.

Protect your space from intruders who are intent on invading your thoughts and inner peace.  If someone is rude or makes a disparaging remark; walk away. If a situation arises creating angst, deal with it then let it go.  Don’t let it disrupt your life by claiming it as your own. You didn’t create it, nor are you responsible for it.  Try not to solve the ills of the world or place the burden on your shoulders.  Life is hard enough without placing unimportant needs ahead of your own.

A path well taken is one of integrity and honesty. Love yourself; look in the mirror every morning and acknowledge the unique person you are.  Empower yourself to accomplish your most intimate goals.  Acknowledge the kindness and good in you; you may be hard pressed to fine anyone who will. Conduct yourself with dignity and honor. Finally, take charge of your life; nurture it, reward it; and the balance within will reveal itself through the smile on your face, and the gleam in your eyes.

Keep a Stress Diary

Committing to keeping a stress diary will help you gain clarity into when and how you react to stress.  This insight allows a better channel for your emotional and physical energy.

Record in your stress diary daily.  Even on the days you don’t feel stressed.  It will be good to be able to review those great feeling days and see what made them so great.  The stress diary gives you valuable insight helping you to manage your stress more effectively.

Date and time each entry. 

• What are you feeling right now?  What did you feel earlier in the day.  Pick words the accurately describe your emotions. 
• How did you handle the stressful situation? 
• Was there a better way to handle those stressful events? 

At the end of each week go back through your stress diary and analyze your stress pattern.  Are you experiencing more stress in the morning, or evening?  Does you work create more stress.  Whatever the answer by making a few adjustments you can proactively handle those day to day stressors.

In fact, you can overcome these issues with a few simple techniques!

First, acknowledge that you must take time for yourself. Being all things to all people isn’t realistic, and neither is doing everything and solving all problems or concerns in one day. No one should expect that of you! If they do, you must recognize that it’s not healthy, and you must do what’s right and best for you. Your health and happiness could depend on it.

Ways to Calm Your Mind

Meditation and prayer are two of the biggest ways to calm a restless mind, but they aren’t the only things you can do. There are many other choices to help you feel better and live a stress-free life. You might also consider:

• Focusing on helping others
• Exercising
• Listening to music
• Using your mind for joyous pursuits that interest you
• Playing with children or pets

Everyone has different things they enjoy in life, and you should find yours and practice them when you start to feel stressed or your thoughts try to run away from you. Avoid letting your thoughts talk you out of your dreams. Your dreams are yours; embrace them!

Being busy is not the problem when it comes to your mind. Being busy with things that aggravate you and make you feel down is the problem. Instead of dwelling on things that upset you, deal with them, let them go, and move on to things that you enjoy. You can do this with your thoughts, just like you would with a physical task in the workplace or at home.

Lower Your Stress Levels Each Day

Stress begins in your mind as thoughts, but it can manifest itself physically. You may feel tense, anxious, uneasy, angry, or have aches and pains you can’t really find a cause for. If stress continues all the time and becomes chronic, your health could be compromised.

You can let stress go and feel good every day.

 Try these strategies to lower your stress:

1.  Focus on what matters to you. What’s important in your life? Be proactive about your goals and priorities. When you’re working toward something that you want, it makes you feel good about yourself and your future.

 

2. Find both physical and mental ways to release your stress. Releasing your stress every day keeps it from building up inside you. Make the conscious choice to start each day fresh, without the stress from the day before.What relaxes you? Music? Hobbies? Spending time with your family? Enjoy a healthy dose of relaxation every day.Get as much exercise as possible. Exercise refreshes your body with a surge of oxygen and releases endorphins, the “feel good” hormone. Even if there’s no time for an exercise session, take the stairs instead of the elevator, park far away from the building so you can walk, and play with your kids or pets.
3. Practice these strategies consistently. Work on releasing your stress every day, even on days when you don’t feel as much stress, so it won’t be a struggle when you really need it. When you’re feeling good, it’s natural to forget about letting stress go, but it’s important to avoid getting complacent.Keep practicing and improving, even when you feel great!

 Whichever techniques you choose to calm your mind and lower your levels of stress, ensure it’s the right fit for you and your lifestyle. Only you know what you really need and what makes you feel safe and at peace.

If you practice this peacefulness each day, it won’t be long before you start to feel calmer, even in situations where you would have previously been over the edge. Your thoughts will be clearer, instead of jumbled and racing. Physically, you’ll feel stronger, too, because your body will be free from the affliction of stress and anxiety.

Spending time on YOU is critical! It enables you to feel rested, calm, stress-free, and fulfilled. When you’ve had proper rest, you can accomplish more and maintain the stamina to continue.

On the other hand, if you neglect to make time for yourself, you’re more likely to become depressed, stressed, or unhappy.

Perhaps you feel that there’s just not enough time for you. Somewhere in the mix, you lost any time you ever had for yourself. However, the good news is that, with some creativity and perseverance, you can recapture some of that critical you-time!

Consider using these strategies to reap some rejuvenating time for yourself:

1. Pencil yourself in. Make time for yourself by adding it as a priority in your schedule. As you fill out your planner, include it along with your other important tasks and stick to the appointment!

2. Give yourself 15 minutes when you get home. Insist on at least 15 minutes of recoup and rejuvenation time when you get home from work. If you have to lock yourself away from stressors or even family members, than that’s what you must do! This time allows you to properly transition from your work life to your home life.

• Explain this new technique to your family so that they understand its importance. This way, no one feels like you’re just avoiding them!

• A simple strategy is to soak in the bath for 15 minutes. The water will relax you, and you’ll feel refreshed after a long day.

3. Take advantage of your lunch break. Your lunch break is there for you to do what you please. After you eat, make good use of your time by going for a walk, exercising, listening to inspiring music, or even get in a bit of shopping if that’s what relaxes you.

4. Enjoy a break while the kids nap. Here’s a good tip for stay at home moms. Give yourself some much needed “you” time whenever your children sleep. You might be tempted to get as much work done as you can while they’re asleep, but you’ll find you actually get more done if you give yourself a chance to rest and rejuvenate yourself.

• Explore new ways of accomplishing things like household tasks while your kids are up. For example, turn chores into learning games that you can all participate in.

5. Go to sleep earlier. Going to sleep earlier at night will enable you to get up in time to enjoy some morning “me” time. Just think how pleasant it would be to enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning without having to look at your watch.

6. Take a vacation day. Take a vacation day to just relax and do whatever you like. You don’t have to take a trip to take a vacation! Time spent on your favorite hobbies will also rejuvenate you. When you return to work, your renewed energy may surprise you!

At first glance, these strategies may look difficult to implement into your busy routine. A good way to get started with them is to incorporate just one at a time. That way, you only have to adjust to one small change. As you become accustomed to that one strategy, you can add another, and then another, until one day you’ll find that making time for yourself is easy.

Once you learn to make time for you, you’ll have more energy and time to enjoy the good things life has to offer.

The holidays are supposed to be a wonderful time for you and your family, though sometimes the stresses leading up the holidays make it seem like quite the opposite. Remember that even in poor economic times there are ways to enjoy yourself and survive the holiday crunch.

Spending Money

Chances are you’ll be spending at least some money during the holiday season. With careful planning, you can make a small budget go quite a long way.

Consider the following holiday money saving tips:

Save Throughout the Year. Most people let the holidays creep up on them. All of a sudden they realize it’s two weeks before Thanksgiving and they need to begin preparing. You can’t pull money out of nowhere and you should resist the urge to put all of your purchases on credit. If you’ve done this in the past, you know first hand that you’ll still be paying off last year’s gifts for years to come!

• Automatically withdraw a small amount of money from each paycheck that goes toward your Christmas savings. Those small amounts add up to something big at the end of the year.

Shop Early. When you shop early you can avoid the stress of the crowds and the urgency of having to make decisions quickly. Start by making a list of gift ideas for everyone. This way, as you see the items throughout the year, you can pick them up. You may even find that they’re cheaper during off-peak times than during the holiday rush.

 Handmade Gifts. If money is extra tight this year, consider giving your loved ones handmade gifts. Handmade gifts are given straight from the heart. They’ll provide memories that last a lifetime and are important reminders that the holiday season is not just about spending money.

Shop for Deals. While it can end up taking a great deal of extra time, make sure you do your homework when it comes to shopping for deals. Prices can vary greatly from vendor to vendor. Luckily, the internet can be your best friend when it comes to shopping for deals. It allows you to comparison shop quickly and easily from the comfort of your own home.

 While you’re shopping online, always remember to stay safe. If you haven’t heard of the website you’re purchasing from, make sure that you’re shopping on a secure server and do additional research into the company to seek out reviews and opinions.

Planning Your Budget

Whether or not you’ve saved throughout the year, it’s always a good idea to put yourself on a strict budget. Give yourself a total dollar amount and then decide how much you’ll spend on each person. If you need money for entertaining, decorating, food, or other things, budget for that as well.

Remember to check in with yourself from time to time to make sure that you remain on budget. While it may be extra work, it’ll save you the stress of dealing with big credit card bills in the new year.

Dealing With Stress

If the stress of the holidays has gotten you down, you’re certainly not alone. It’s not fun to have to deal with the financial aspect, but it’ll help to keep the reward in mind.

If you’ve spent your money well, and your family gets through the holidays in a peaceful manner, then you’ve done your job. You’ll be adding to the memories that will last a lifetime. Remember that you can’t place a price tag on memories. When you keep that positive goal in mind, it’ll be worth the stresses you have to endure.

Now this might sound a little strange to you but what exactly do you think about when you hear the word failure? You probably are thinking that you’re not good enough and or maybe that you should give up. One definition is the lack of success

While failure can involve those thoughts and emotions,  failure can also make us stronger or wiser.

A simple definition of failure is: An act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success.

When I think of this definition of failure, I’m reminded of Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb. While there are many conflicting stories of how many times Edison “failed” at inventing the electric light bulb, most agree it was in the thousands before he found the right combination of materials.

One of Edison’s most famous quotes is, “I have not failed.  I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”

If you adopt this same attitude, you’ll overcome your feelings of failure and be able to see your dreams and desires come to fruition.

Robert Schuller stated these famous words, “Failure doesn’t mean you’re a failure; it just means you haven’t succeeded yet.”

Henry Ford said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”

When you consider those words from these wise and successful people, you’ll truly begin to understand the power of failure.

The truth is, you only fail when you give up! When you keep trying until you’ve found the answer or the solution, you’re successful.

You’d never say Thomas Edison, Robert Schuller or Henry Ford were failures would you? Sure, they were unsuccessful many, many times, but they didn’t give up until they found the answer, the right procedure or the right materials to solve their dilemma.

In case those quotes weren’t enough to make you believe failure has a positive power and strength, here are some more you might relate to:

“Failure is an event, never a person.” – William D. Brown

The next time you try your hand at something and don’t achieve the desired result immediately, remember failure is an event;  it’s not you.

Bill Cosby also said it well when he said, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

If you’re trying to please everyone, you can’t possibly succeed!

“Never confuse a single defeat with final defeat.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

“You can’t have any successes until you can accept failures.” – George Cukor

Just because you’ve failed once, twice or 10,000 times at something, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You only fail when you stop trying.

Still not convinced? How about this:

“You always pass failure on your way to success.” – Mickey Rooney

What do these words mean to you? No matter what you’re trying to succeed at, whether it’s a sport, project, career, invention, or at school, there will be times when you don’t succeed. But you mustn’t let that stop you from reaching your goals, dreams, and desires.

The common thread among all these famous people and their wise words is the same. You can’t have success without failure. Never give up and never stop trying. There is power in failure, you just have to give yourself a chance.

Keep trying, keep failing and soon you’ll find true success!

I release the thought  that I must do everything  without a single error or misstep. No one  is perfect and  striving to be superhuman only  brings stress and  disappointment. As the thought dissipates,  so, too, do the pressure  and stress I had put upon  myself.

I can do an excellent job in my work without requiring that every project be absolutely  perfect. When I think about it, I realize that any project, no matter how good, can always be improved  upon  in some way. So the pursuit of perfection  is insatiable.

I can receive wonderful  results in other areas of my life without having to be perfect.

Spending  time with my spouse  and children brings all of us joy. I do  not have to be perfect to love  and  be loved. My family members  do not have to be perfect for me to love them. We love each other because  of who we are, faults and all.

Wouldn’t life be boring if everyone  were perfect? Our unique  qualities bring variety and excitement to life. In the same way, wouldn’t I be boring if I were perfect? I see now that being imperfect is more
than just fine. It is very good!

Striving to be flawless is counterproductive to living  a fulfilling life. Why spend  time working toward an impossible  goal when I could be using that same time to achieve goals that are real?

Rather than adding to my stress with impossible  goals, I choose  to fill my life with gratitude,  peace,  and happiness.

Today, I choose  to be imperfect! I set achievable  goals that I know I can accomplish  and I feel great about them. I feel free to accomplish  my goals now that the burden  of perfectionism has been lifted.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Do I require  perfectionism from others or myself? Why?
2. Do I feel I deserve  to be loved, even though  I’m imperfect?
3. What are my goals today? Can I achieve them without being perfect?

The key is to evaluate your situation and make small steps toward an organized life. Don’t try to change all at once or you could end up just adding to the chaos.

Here are some tips and tricks to follow in order to get organized:

1. Have a Place for Everything. There are certain items that you use nearly every day. Make sure that these items have a permanent place in your home. Put your keys on a key holder near the door or your wallet in your desk draw. When your things are put away in their proper place, you’re not only organized, but you’ll save time as well.

2. Make a List. When you have tasks to complete, make a list of everything you need to do in order to reach completion. Writing it down will help you to visualize what needs to get done. Lists also insure that you don’t forget to do anything.

•  You can also separate your lists into long-term and short-term categories. The short-term list might be items you need to complete today, while the long-term sheet is your monthly or yearly goals.

3. Start Small. If there are many aspects of your life that you’re trying to get organized, start with the small pieces first. For instance, if your home is unorganized, start with one room – like the kitchen. Give yourself a timeline to complete kitchen organization, and then expand yourself to other rooms once you complete that task.

4. Find a System That Works And Stick To It. There are many different organizational methods that you can choose to implement, but the most important element is to use it consistently. Make sure you understand it and follow through.

•  For example, there are different ways you can organize your bookshelf. You can order all books by author. You can order all books by topic. You can order by topic and author. Once you choose a system, all you need to worry about is following through.

5. Get Rid of Clutter. If you find your life is full of clutter, it’s time to get rid of the junk. Maybe it’s time to finally go through all the stacked boxes in your garage to make more room. When you’re going through your clutter, decide immediately whether or not you’ve used the item in the past couple years. If you haven’t, consider selling it or giving it away to charity.

•  Always remember that your first instincts are often right. If your first instinct is to get rid of something, don’t over think it. You could end up keeping something that sticks around for another couple years, unused!

6. Sort Your Mail. This is a simple one that can help you greatly. Your mail can stack up fast. As soon as you get it, sort it. Throw out the junk mail and shred the documents you don’t need that might contain personal information. Take care of your bills right away, so you don’t have to worry about it later.

7. Go Paperless. In this digital age, it’s popular to cut out the paper to save yourself some organizational headaches and save the environment. When companies bill you, there is usually an option to go paperless. Use this option and start managing your billing statements online.

Don’t Get Overwhelmed

Of course there are many things you can do to get yourself organized. Try to make a positive step forward each day even if it’s something small. You’ll soon find that your life is becoming more manageable and you’ll feel a great deal of satisfaction!

There are even some people whose self-esteem is suffering to the point that they truly believe they don’t possess any talents at all! If this is you, please believe that your talents are there, just waiting to be revealed to you!

These tried and true strategies will help you develop your strengths to their full potential:

1. Research. Perhaps you think that you’re strong in one area, but you aren’t completely sure. This is where you need to look into things that interest you or that you believe you might be good at. See what resources are available and what it would take to make the commitment to strengthen your strengths.

2. Patience. Developing your strengths to their full potential won’t occur overnight. To fully develop a talent, you must be patient. Patience is not easy and many of us tend to struggle with it. But if you can be patient, you’ll definitely reap the benefits at the end of the process.

• A useful way to think of developing your talents is to consider it as a journey. It may take a while, but you’ll learn a lot along the way.

• You’ll make mistakes and celebrate milestones, and by the time you’re done, your strength will be fully developed to the peak of your abilities.

3. Set goals. People are more successful when they set goals. Write down what you’d like to accomplish and what date you’d like to achieve this by. Remember to be realistic and review your goals frequently to keep yourself on track.

• Post your goals in places where you’ll see them throughout the day. The refrigerator, bathroom mirror, and your computer monitor are a few ideas. This will not only keep you on track, but it’ll also motivate you to reach these goals as quickly as possible.

4. Believe you can do it. Confidence can be one of your greatest strengths and assets. When trying to improve yourself in any capacity, if you truly believe that you’re able to accomplish anything, you’ve won half the battle.

• The battle with your mind is often greater than any challenge you face in reality.

• You may have tough days when you’re unsure of yourself, but as long as you get back on track quickly, you’ll build momentum.  Remember, you can do this!

Final Thoughts on Developing Your Strengths

Strengthening your strengths may be a daunting and overwhelming journey at times. And, yes, it will take some work. But everything worth anything involves hard work!

It’s important to focus on the big picture and remember the rewards you’ll enjoy once this process is over. Also, ensure that you have the unwavering belief that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.  By possessing these two attributes, you’ll be on the road to success in no time!