Stress Management – I Want An Attitude Adjustment

Negativity is a huge drain on our energy and only gets worse  when we’re stressed.  So what’s your attitude?  Is the glass half empty or half full. Do you see the downside or upside first. 

Being negative is a habit often brought on by past suffering and situations that significantly effects the way we feel.   But it can stop now. Even in suffering, you don’t have to be negative.  What’s the difference? Attitude! 

How do you change your negative attitude? First, become aware when your negative.  This may be easier said then done especially if you’ve sent a lot of your time feeling negative.

Write down how you feel in a journal.  Once you know what kinds of things trigger your negativity , you can begin to catch yourself in the act.  When unexpected things happen are the first words out of your mouth “oh no?”  Notice what your doing and tell yourself I don’t have to respond this way.  This stops your thought process. 

Just like any habit, the more you get use to halting your negative reactions and replacing them with neutral or positive reactions, the less you’ll find yourself reacting negatively.

To change my own negative tendencies of thinking negatively I’ve been evaluating my feelings.  Asking myself these questions:

1. Is the situation or just my perception causing me stress?
2. Am I expecting things to be other than they are?
3. Am I stressed because of someone else’s mistake?
4. Am I wasting time looking for a cause of this situation instead of changing my behavior now?

So do you want an attitude adjustment too? Well it’s your turn to choose.

Parenting Can Be Stressful

Children are absolutely the most amazing part of life, at the same time, they may be at the center of the most stressful part of your life. It’s our fierce love that keeps us from reacting in frustration and disappointment when things don’t quite go our way.

Stress from parenting doesn’t have to damage the relationship you have with your child. Truthfully, the steps you take to lower your stress, can strengthen the bond you have with each other. Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your child after all you need a high level of energy to be a good parent. .

Kids also experience stress. As adults sometimes we have the misconception and mistaken memory of childhood as one long parade of cotton candy and amusement rides. Yet, our kids today are falling victim to negative effects of stress in greater numbers then ever before.

There are fun enjoyable things you can do to eliminate or at least reduce stress at any age.

Soothing infant stress. For infants try a daily infant massage. Gently and softly stroke your baby’s legs, arms and body, to improve circulation and relax muscles. This can be an intimate time for bonding time.

Toddle time is a very exciting time for you two year old. If the terrible twos are wearing you down spend time playing with your child. Remember some toddlers are ready to jump into the next new activities while others are far more cautious. Respect your child’s individual style. Instead of spending time worried about temper tantrums and potty training enjoy the two’s with your toddler. Your only two once.

School Daze. Once your child goes to school it’s so easy to overschedule them and yourself. Select one or two activities that your child loves and set limits. It’s helps them to realize that life has limits. A quiet walk with your child can have an unbelievable benefit of connecting you both. Try a nature hunt of finding the most unusual leaves or stones. It’s fun doesn’t cost anything and you’ll both love the time you spend together.

Teens don’t have to be trouble, but they may be the hardest ones to deal with. Your teen is trying to find where he or she belongs and are looking for the “right group” to fit in with. But as quiet as kept they still want the love, support and discipline from their parents. The teen who’s parents lets them stay out for all hours of the night with very few limits will not have the same feeling of love as the teen who’s parents limit their activities. Don’t be too restrictive because it’s time for them to stick their toe in the water it’s just too soon for them to jump in. Be consistent, don’t loose your temper and never give up.

Now it’s mommy time. All life changes start with small steps. Here are a few small steps you can take:

1. Do something good for your body. No time to join the gym – go for a walk
2. Do something good for your mind. Sit quietly and have a mediation minute. And I do mean a minute. Just take one minute to clear your mind by closing your mind and taking deep breaths.
3. Do something good for your spirit. Tell your children what they mean to you and how much you love and care about them.
4. Do something to simplify your environment. Find 5 things to throw away today. Clean up the clutter in your home.

As a parent, it’s important that you spend some time alone, getting away from it all. But it’s equally important that you monitor your child’s stress levels too and ensure they aren’t reacting to their anxiety in a way that may be harmful.

Identify Your 15 Early Warning Signs Of Stress

Simply speaking, stressors can be defined as that which produces stress.  Any factor that disturbs your sense of well-being.   Stressors can range from illness, financial concern and emotional turmoil. 

Indentifying warning signs is critical in that it allows you to be proactive when dealing with stress.  It will serve as your starting point for gauging your stress level.  It can also monitor your ability to balance your life. 

Without identifying these signs you risk long term negative impact on your physical and emotional health. 

Early Signs include:

1. Headache
2. Sleepless nights
3. Difficulty in concentration
4. Short tempered
5. Upset stomach
6. Dissatisfaction
7. General malaise
8. Irritability
9. Exhaustion
10. Weight gain or loss
11. Increase use of alcohol or drugs
12. Memory problems
13. Unable to relax
14. Feeling overwhelmed
15. unhappiness

Now that you have identified some of the warning signs of stress that has a negative impact on your persoan and prefessional life you can be more prepared to be proactive.  The emphasis here is to empower you to make the necessary adjustments to maintain a sense of balance and well-being.

Managing Time The SMART Way

Most people approach the subject of time management with one major question.  How can I get more done in less time?  Effective time management is a powerful way to lower your stress level, particularly when you use it to create a balanced life.

You’ve probably heard the acronym, SMART, which stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic Time Oriented.  This time management system is ideal for your work or personal life.

S for Specific: Be specific. Should be written with the five Ws in mind?   Be sure to answer what, why and how. The goal must specially describe your desired end result within a specific time frame.  I will complete writing an e-book by March 30 2009.

M for Measureable:  How will you know when the goal is achieved. What is your point of measurement. It’s a numeric measure. For instance, I will write a 50 page e-book.

A for Achievable:  Is this goal achievable.  Something you can achieve on your own or with help.  Keep in mind you have no control over anyone but yourself.  Stretch yourself but make sure it’s something that you can achieve.  For instance, writing a 50 page e-book in a month if far more achievable then having a goal to write a 50 page e-book in the next eight hours.

R for Realistic:   Are the goals do-able and realistic considering the current environment.  Have you considered all of your constraints?  Are you expecting to write this e-book in the next seven days while touring Europe.  Would it be reasonable to expect to write this book while on a 3 day whirlwind tour of Europe?

T for Time Oriented: have you given yourself an end date.  You’ll get a lot more accomplished much faster if you goal is to write an e-book in the 30 days versus I’m going to write an e-book with no expected date of completion.  Your brain probably won’t wrap around a goal with no date.

A lot of people declare they work better under pressure. But you’re only fooling yourself.  What actually happens is you make a lot of mistakes under pressure.  These mistakes that are careless and preventable.

Use the SMART goal setting system to reduce you stress and accomplish more.

Let me know what you think about this blog and let me know your biggest stress challenge in the comment section below.

Stress Can Cause Chronic Headaches

Do you seem to get headaches frequently?  Not migraine headaches that incapacitate you, but common headaches that creep up on you and ruin your day. Stop looking for another pill to pop and try to identify the source of these headaches, which may be brought on by stress.

Stress and Tension – Stress has a way of accumulating like the clutter in your hall closet. Eventually, it just overflows. Along with stress, you feel tension in your muscles. And the tension spreads until your shoulders are tired, your neck feels like it can’t hold up your head and eventually – your head throbs.

The pain actually comes from decreased blood flow to you head, but that’s the physical explanation. The human body is 65% water dehydration triggors headaches and migranes.  The real root cause is stress.  If you want to stop the tension headaches, you have to take time to relax.

Walk away from work and take a break. Don’t bring work home with you. Give yourself twenty minutes to unwind after work. Lie down or recline in a comfortable chair. Put a cool gel pack over your eyes and think about anything except your to-do list and the problems of the day. You may prefer to use that time to meditate or pray. Just give yourself time to transition so that you can enjoy your dinner and prepare for a good nights sleep.  Drink at least 8 – 10 glasses of water a day.  All of these things will help reduce your stress levels and tension headaches.

 
Insomnia – You simply have to have a good night’s sleep. That means 8 hours, not 5 hours and a cat nap. You need enough restful sleep to allow the body to repair itself and overcome what you put it through during the day. If you aren’t getting enough sleep or good quality sleep, you are a candidate for headaches. And don’t try to self-medicate with sleep aids. See your doctor to find out the reason for the sleep problem and work it out.

Listen to the message in your headache and do something to gain long term relief.

Stress Management – What To Do When You Lose Of Your Job

A job loss is extremely stressful at anytime.  But today considering the economy and the current job market ,one of the most challenging personal crises an individual may have to face is coping with job loss. Unemployment, divorce and the death of a loved one are considered to be the most stressful events that can happen during a person’s lifetime.

The loss of personal identity associated with the job can be more devastating than the loss of income. There are problems to be dealt with, questions to be answered and decisions to be made. You must recognize this and admit that there is likely to be a major change in your life. The threat to your personal and family security is the biggest change.

Fears Associated with Transitioning

• What will I do with myself?
• What will others think of me if I fail?
• How am I going to define myself?
• Will I/we survive financially?
• Will I be able to get the perfect job for me?

Ask Yourself the Following

• What actually happened to cause me to lose my job?
• How did I receive news of the lay off?
• How did I react to the news?
• How long was I in that particular job?
• What was my relationship with my boss, my subordinates and my colleagues?

Coping With Stress
While you may not be able to prevent a job loss, you may be able to use some of the following coping strategies to make the loss easier to handle.

Give yourself time:
Allow yourself appropriate time to adjust to the new realities.

Embrace change:
Embrace the quote by Louis Pasteur, “Change favors the prepared mind.” Remind yourself that change can mean growth and that rigidity is counterproductive. Develop the ability to be flexible.

Pursue support from others:
You cannot do everything alone. Your family and loved ones can help provide the moral and emotional support that is needed.

• Talk with family and friends.
• Involve your family in the decision making process.

Live in the present:
People can carry a huge burden called guilt and anger about experiences. This will rob you of energy and create more stress.

Treat yourself right!
Exercise. Eat a balanced diet. Get plenty of sleep. Read a good book. Go to the movies. Find fun and interesting things to do that don’t cost much.

Know your limitations:
You cannot change others or circumstances, only yourself. Re-evaluate your direction:

Figure out your next steps:
Make a job search plan. Use multiple resources.

Implement your plan:
This is your new job until you have a new position you want. Being actively engaged in your job search will bring you nearer your goals and will go a long way toward alleviating stress.

Seek professional help:
If the stress becomes overwhelming and you are unable to function in a fairly normal way, seek help from your family doctor, clergy, a psychologist or social worker, or a hospital or community mental health center.

You’ll find you have a tremendous responsibility as you decide on your next career, determine your financial requirements, select health and life insurance plans, sort out your benefits and take steps to secure your future goals. It may take some time, however, if you target desired outcomes, plan accordingly and work diligently, you’ll, eventually, achieve your goals. Fortunately, you’re not alone.

Stress Management – It’s Easy to De-Stress – Just Say No!

Those most in need of stress management frequently are not the busy executive or the seeker of learning and higher consciousness. Mostly it’s people who are so busy with their hectic stress filled lifestyle they don’t have time to read a book much less meditate for 30 minutes a day. A “half an hour” sputters the busy homemaker, “I could have dinner made in half an hour”. Most of us are a product of the television and technology age. Suffering from have to have it now and it should be faster syndrome.

You take on the extra project and your to-do list becomes even as expansive. You find yourself helping friends or family who seek your assistants with tasks they find they aren’t able to complete. How do you say no and still look like a good guy or good gal.

Unless you have a ready made excuse – you can’t because you’re working or you’re out of town it’s really can be difficult to say no. Saying no we put ourselves on a self inflicted guilt trip. Feeling guilty not being able to help, and overwhelmed and resentful by the prospect of putting another task on the list. After all it’s in our nature to want to help others. It makes you feel wanted and needed.

Women in particular have difficulty with saying no. Being taught to be non-assertive and passive and to always be a help. Look up the word help-mate a companion and helper husband or wife. But let’s face it how many time have you heard the word used when talking about the husband? None right. Women take on the lion’s share of home responsibilities. Couple that with being the breadwinner and you may have a combination that screams “I’m stressed out”.

It’s time to put ourselves as #1 on our to-do list. We have to take care of ourselves first. And that means saying no to adding more on the list. Keep in mind that by saying no when you can’t take on another task is far better for your mental health because you won’t harbor any resentment of doing something for someone else when you essentially don’t have time or desire to do so. One thing you may not think of is to say no to technology. Turn off the phone, turn off the computer and television. They cry for attention, much in the same way as a friend or family does. And when they scream, rest and relaxation will simply float away.

Take care of yourself first. Remember you’re not the rescue squad.

Stress Management – 7 Reasons to Avoid Mismanaging Time With Multi-Tasking

Time management the great illusion. Often we talk about managing our time as if it were as simple as following steps one two three, and I guess in some ways it is. We all know, you can’t get back loss time. So in an effort to get more done on any given day you may decide multi-tasking is the answer. But this leads to mismanaging time and causes stress.

Do you think you can get three things done at once? If you do you’d have better think again. Any attempt to do so is foolhardy. Attempting to do too many task at the same time equals disaster in the form is mistakes, confusion not to mention the excessive stress and anxiety of trying to keep 3 balls in the air at the same time.

7 reasons to avoid multi-tasking time mismanagement

1. Attempting to complete several tasks or projects at the same time, causes overwhelm and incomplete projects
2. Thinking of more than one project at any given time causes errors and misjudgement
3. It causes fatigue and frustration at what you may feel as lack of “real” progress
4. Frequently causes a cluttered desk and a cluttered mind
5. Causes lack of creativity as you attempt to keep tasks sorted in your own mind there is no room for creativity
6. Projects take longer because of lack of focus
7. Causes you to feel more stressed and anxious

Here are a few ways to be more effective with the time you do have.

Brain dump by writing everything down. Once it’s written on paper begin to transfer the tasks onto a calendar. Write it in pencil so you can make changes easily. Keep a small notebook nearby. Instead of trying to remember everything that needs to be done write it in your notebook for safekeeping. Maintain one calendar combining your work and personal events and tasks to be sure nothing is forgotten. As tasks are completed use a yellow marker to highlight the task indicating it was completed. If you find you’re not able to complete a task on a specific date re-write the task on a new date.

If you find you have moved the task to 3 different dates because it was not completed, decide if the task is important, do you need to complete it or should it be placed as part of a longer term commitment. Finally, decide if your procrastinating and if you are, figure out why and make a decision as to what to do about it.

Is the job too big? How about breaking it down into smaller pieces. Often, the reason we find we can’t complete a task is because the task seems enormous and we become overwhelmed. The best way to break down the project is to list all the components of the task. For instance if the task is to clean the bedroom then list all the areas of the bedroom that need attention. For each component list the subcomponents – in this case list what specifically needs to be cleaned. In this case you’ll find cleaning the bedroom become easy because as you complete the tasks on you list you’ll find cleaning the bedroom becomes easy as you tackle one area at a time.

How your Relationship Can Be the Root of Your Stress

We’ve all heard the saying that money is the root of all evil (not true of course).  But have you heard that relationships can be the root of your stress?   You can juggle your bills you can juggle your time but you can’t always juggle your relationships. 

Relationships include more then family members, it could be friends, co-workers neighbors and even people you do business with.  Some relationships can be severed without much change in your daily habits.  While others can’t actually be changed – after all you can’t change your family.

Evaluate your support systems.  Are they actually supportive and non-judgemental.  Do they give advice but not the criticism.  Do they care about you with no strings attached.  Are you satisfied with the support they offer. 

When in a  relationship that causes you stress, learn how to handle that  stress will improve your relationship.  It requires good communication skills, on both sides.  You learn to listen as well as speak your mind.  It takes two to build or destroy a relationship. 

If I could only pick two things to build a relationship it would be to learn to laugh and to learn to listen. 

Laughter
Researchers now believe that laughter is one of the cheapest and most powerful therapies at everyone disposal.  The act of laughing helps to stabilize your blood pressure and improve your circulation.  And improving your relationship is a by-product of this good feeling.

Listening
A good listener does more than just stand there without saying anything.  Be an active listener by verbally and non-verbally acknowledging what’s being said.  Remember your facial expressions.  Look the other person in the eye.  Finally, don’t begin formulating your response before the speaker finishes what they are saying. 

Feel free to add your comments below.

Motivate Yourself by Knowing Who You Are

What is that saying? We can fool some of the people some of the time. When it comes to ourselves, we can’t even get away with a suspicious look. For goal setting, it is important to truly know yourself.
Motivation is the process we use to continue doing something. It can come in the form of rewards, support, self-affirmations, or visual aids. With any goals that we set, there has to be a motivating force behind it to spur us on to success. We have to have a reason for continuing on until we reach our goal.

 
What motivates us? That is the $64,000 question. To begin, learn a bit about yourself. I know that people say that they don’t know who they are, but we each have a basic idea that we can build upon. Here are a few things to help get the juices flowing and aid in figuring out who you really are. From there, you’ll be able to find your motivation and complete your goals successfully.

 
Motivation is a mind game. To be more exact, it is a tool of the subconscious mind. Negative thinking brings about negative results. All the motivation in the world can’t overcome the power of negative self-talk on the subconscious mind.

 
Learning a few things about yourself is the key to finding the motivation to achieve your goals. Without taking a good look in the mirror, goals will be sabotaged from within more than they ever will from other people or circumstances.

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